“I do it as a therapy.
I do it as something to keep me alive.
We all need a little discipline.
Exercise is my discipline.”
Ladies and Gentleman,
I am addicted to boot camp. Just in case you are worried you might be an addict to, I have complied a list of signs and symptoms to assist you in recognizing it.
1) You spend most of your waking hours thinking about boot camp.
2) You know how many hours it’s been since your last session and how many until your next one.
3) You find yourself trying to schedule the rest of your life around your workouts.
4) Everyone you know is aware that you do boot camp, including what days of the week you go.
5) At least one person has mentioned how much you talk about boot camp and/or asked you to stop bringing it up
6) You have tried to convince all your Facebook friends and coworkers to join, and have dragged at least one in person.
7) More than 50% of your status updates involve boot camp, the gym, or working out.
8) You know all the regulars at the gym…
9) You find yourself doing boot camp workouts on days when there isn’t one scheduled.
10) You have begged, badgered, or nagged your trainer to a hold group session because the boot camp sessions were too far apart.
11) You regularly walk with a limp.
12) You’re afraid that when you brush your hair in the morning you won’t be able to lift your arms.
13) You frequently use stairs backwards.
14) You’ve bribed someone to do your laundry to avoid using stairs all together.
15) You have a fear of dropping things because your legs are too sore to bend.
16) Your leisurely hikes turn into rock climbing sessions.
17) You find yourself having difficulty with simple tasks like opening a car door, getting into the car, or turning the steering wheel after your workouts.
18) You’ve done back-to-back boot camp sessions.
19) You are constantly trying to find new ways to add protein to your diet.
20) You own multiple items of clothing with a boot camp logo.
21) You got a bunch of exercise equipment/apparel for Christmas- and got really excited about it.
22) Your workout apparel is more expensive or nicer looking than your regular wardrobe.
24) You think a 10+ mile obstacle race involving freezing water, fire, difficult terrain, obstacles, and electrocution sounds like a good time.
25) You don’t think one workout in a day is enough.
26) You spend more time with your boot camp family than you actual family.
27) Missing a session of boot camp ruins your day.
28) When you listen to the radio you evaluate each song’s potential for your workout playlist.
29) Missing long periods of boot camp triggers bouts of depression.
30) You find yourself evaluating objects for their potential as exercise equipment (examples: furniture movers, window sills, radiator covers, tree stumps, etc)
31) You get delighted by your ability to lift and carry heavy objects such as firewood, tires, or bags of dog food.
32) You don’t think puking during a workout is an excuse to stop.
33) Pushing to the point of feeling light-headed or losing focus is a regular occurrence for you.
34) You’ve woken up in the middle of the night after a workout in pain because you moved in your sleep, or have had to prop yourself up on your elbows to roll over in bed
35) You do reps in multiples of 100 instead of 5 or 10.
36) You refer to “can’t” as “the dirty ‘c’ word” and have removed it from your vocabulary.
37) You have either done or forced someone else to do burpees as a punishment.
38) You’ve considered being part of a boot camp flash mob.
39) You can’t understand why everyone doesn’t find boot camp as awesome as you do.
40) You finish your boot camp workouts with the feeling that you can conquer anything. (ie. boot camp gets you high)
42) You don’t think a national holiday is an excuse not to have boot camp.
43) You are incapable or backing down from a challenge.
44) You’ve been bitten by a box…
45) Your first thought of ninja or superman is an exercise and not a person.
46) You’ve noticed people look at you like you are insane when you share your workouts.
47) You’ve considered stealing a cane, wheelchair, or scooter from an elderly person after a workout because you thought you needed it more than he/she did.
48) You’ve “borrowed” your child’s jump rope to practice.
49) You find yourself yelling “NO EXCUSES” at people.
50) You couldn’t imagine life without boot camp.