Swimming Chronicles

What I’ve Learned About Failure From Diana Nyad

“I wanted to teach myself some life lessons at the age of 60,

and one of them was that you don’t give up.”

-Diana Nyad

I think you are all aware by now that I have a rather substantial lady crush on Diana Nyad. In fact, I am pretty sure I wrote a whole post about it at one point. This post, however, is not simply about how much I am in total awe and inspired by her (which I totally still am), but rather what I have learned from her about life and specifically failure.

When Diana made her #EPIC journey from Cuba to Florida, I was glued to the CNN app on my phone (I’m talking Boston Marathon levels of stalking). For me, it was the equivalent of Man’s First Steps on the Moon. Here was this woman in her sixties taking on the ocean, Gulf Stream, dehydration, hypothermia, sharks, jelly fish, and exhaustion in the hopes of finally chasing down her dream. She wasn’t deterred by her age, all her failed previous attempts, or even the fact that her most recent attempt had nearly killed her, TWICE! She was all in, Cuba or Bust.

It happened at a time in my life when I was struggling to learn to swim. I couldn’t even wrap my mind around swimming the amount of time or distance she was attempting, forget all the other hazards… or the currents… or salt water… or restrictive gear (because we all know how much I love my wetsuit… NOT!) To me, she was the epitome of the indomitable human spirit. I would think about her during my swims just in awe on so many levels.

The more I learned about her, the deeper my admiration grew. This is not a woman who has had an easy life. In fact, she’s had very much the opposite. She was abused by her father and assaulted by her swim coach for years in silence. Being abused by my ex husband as an adult almost broke me. I can’t even imagine what kind of strength it took to survive and endure being injured in that way by the men she was supposed to be able to trust at such a young age without ever reaching out to someone for support. Beyond that, that fact that she has the courage to speak about it openly (especially in a culture with such prevalent victim shaming) speaks volumes to her personal fortitude and character.

I don’t know whether it was inherent strength that got her through or developed out of necessity, but I doubt it is a coincidence that a woman who was able to endure and thrive after that kind of childhood abuse is the same one who was able to shut down her critics and swim from Cuba to Florida. Coming from a place of having survived and overcome the betrayal of physical and emotional abuse, I can speak first hand to the type of perspective it can give on life and specifically on pain.

Everyone has a scale for pain. When something hurts, your brain is programmed to compare it to past hurt. There is NOTHING in this life that I have ever encountered in the way of physical pain that even comes close to the psychological pain associated with abuse. No sport, race, or distance to date, and I doubt any ever will. It may be a reach, but somehow I think swimming 50+ hours across the ocean probably doesn’t compare for Diana either.

However, the reason I admire Diana is not the fact that she is an open survivor of abuse, so much as who she is as a person. She had a crummy past, but it doesn’t define her. Instead, it has made her tough as nails. She is utterly unwilling to accept defeat, and that is my kind of lady. If Diana has taught me anything in life, it’s that there is no such thing as failure unless you quit. You may have failed attempts, but until you throw in the towel and give up- it’s not over.

Prior to hearing about Diana and learning about her, I used to worry about the big D-N-F. I was afraid of failing. However, now I realize it’s not a failure unless I give up on my goal. As long as my desire and dream are still alive, I’m not defeated; and the story isn’t over.

When you look at her journey from Cuba to Florida, Diana didn’t fail on those previous attempts. They were all important steps on her journey to get there. In the end, I’m sure the fact that she had to fight so hard for so long made it that much more meaningful and rewarding. So now, every time I have a goal (like 70.3) that I just can’t seem to get to, that is what I think of. It’s not a failure, it’s just going to take a little longer than planned. Eventually I will get there, and the victory that much sweeter.

PS. If you haven’t seen Ms. Nyad’s documentary The Other Shore yet, you should probably watch it. It doesn’t matter if you aren’t a swimmer or even remotely interested in swimming. You should still watch it. Because the truth is, it’s not about swimming. It’s about living.

Breaking Up With The Scale

“Only when you are aware of the uniqueness of everyone’s individual body

will you begin to have a senseof your own self-worth.”

Ma Jian

You may have guessed from the title of this post that the Get Fit Challenge has officially ended (YEA!!!!!!). That means no more weigh ins! As you know, I didn’t particularly care for the scale; so I am pretty stoked about our official break up. Our last challenge was to improve our results from our initial fit test. We got one point for completing it, and one point for each exercise we improved. I was a little worried about being able to beat my previous totals since I blasted through the first time… and biked over 23 miles at spin before arriving to take it… oh, and ran over 7 miles of incline… and swam a mile… Okay so I essentially did a whole triathlon prior. Good cause for concern, right?

Well surprisingly, I sailed through the push ups, sit ups and squats- surpassing my previous totals on all of them. It was the having to run farther than 1.68 miles in 10 minutes at the end that nearly killed me! All I could think was “why did I run so fast the first time?”, and then I remembered it was because I had been racing the hubs. This time around I was not in a racing mood. I just wanted to survive it! Luckily, I managed it with a second or two to spare. Then we had our final weigh in, and I came in at my highest weight since our initial weigh in (which was both humorous and irritating, but not at all surprising given how bloated I was from finally getting my “visitor”… it would figure that she would disappear for weeks on end and then show up that week!).

Regardless of my epic fail at weight loss (a side effect of not actually needing to lose weight) the hubs and I still came in 3rd place overall, which means we get bragging rights and $25 each to spend at the gym on exciting stuff like protein shakes and gatorade. Despite my loathing of the weigh ins, it was actually a worthwhile experience for both of us. Of course now that it is over, I have not had much success in getting the hubs to the gym with me… or the pool… I think he did make one spin class last week. In his defense, they just switched his shift again at work. I think he may get back on track when he gets used to his new schedule. Presently he spends most of his down time sleeping.

I, on the other hand, am really proud of myself for not only continuing to kick butt at the gym (I am soooo close to doing a real pull up!!!), but also sticking to my mileage goals for the year. To date I have managed 335/1000 miles for the bike, 146/500 miles for running, and 17/50 miles for swimming. I even forced myself to ride the bike trainer for an hour twice this week (even though it is even more painful and boring than running on a treadmill). To keep motivated I wear my Tough Chik jersey and remind myself that it is mental preparation. I also remind myself that I need all the help I can get with cycling… like even more than with swimming, and that is saying something!

All that biking, running, and swimming has meant lots of time at the YMCA. I prefer to run there when I use the treadmill because they have fancy ones that go up to 30% incline and will even decline up to 3%. The past few weekends I have dedicated my Saturday mornings to doing the 7am spin class, followed immediately by a very hilly run on the treadmill, and then a swim. My goal is usually to do an hour of each in a row, however this generally gets adjusted based on how great or awful I am feeling that day. Yesterday I only did a 4 mile run because my legs were fried from all the miles on the bike trainer but then did an almost 1.5 mile swim, which is a new distance record for me.

Surprisingly, I have gotten to the point now with swimming that I actually look forward to class and going on my own. Saturday mornings have become my “quiet time” swim where I can plug in my headphones and tune out the world. I purposely brick my workouts out of order and swim at the end because I know the pool we be empty and my body will feel refreshed after the beating its taken all morning. I consider it an active recovery. Plus, it just seems really inefficient to shower at the beginning and end of your workout. This way I only need to shower once at the end. That means I’m saving water and the environment in addition to kicking ass.

I have to say that triathlon training in general has been a life enriching experience. It’s exposed me to a new sport (swimming) which I now LOVE and continually forces me to live outside of my comfort zone. I have become not only stronger, but more confident and self assured. There is nothing like regularly seeing yourself in a sport swimsuit (and letting the public see you in it) to force you to get comfortable in your body. I’ve gone from a point of being modest (and at times embarrassed) in the locker room to feeling proud of myself every time I put my swim gear on. I worked my way up from not being able to swim at all to swimming for over an hour straight with minimal rest. In fact, I can even swim three different strokes now (though I still look… and feel…like I’m drowning on breast stroke… who deemed it a recovery stroke anyway?) Last week I even got a compliment from Coach M –which I took as high praise considering how hard they are to get from the epitome of swimming perfectionism– that I had a “nice long stroke.”

So instead of seeing a deer in headlights or pile of body imperfections when I suit up, now I see hard earned muscles, confidence, and a smile. I see someone who is looking forward to her swim and embracing the sport. I can truly say that now I feel most badass when I wear my swimsuit and cap. It takes more guts to swim than to run- for me at least! That is what I appreciate in the person looking back at me.

Which is why I don’t care about the number on the scale or the size of my clothes. I know my body is healthy and strong. I also know that I am doing my best, and that is all anyone could ever ask of me- including myself. My favorite pair of workout capris are bright orange with polka dots and they highlight the cellulite dimples in the back of my legs. Guess what? I don’t care. I still wear them because I love the color. Plus, I am pretty sure no one else is going to notice, and if they do they should probably be more concerned with their own workout anyway. I have become aware recently of how much more obvious our imperfections look to us than they do to others, and I am making a conscious choice to not let my insecurities dictate how I feel about myself or the way I look. When I wear my orange pants I am proud that I am not covering up my flaws. Instead, I’m saying this is me; and I am confident, strong, and happy with my body. I am also saying “You should be too.”

Do yourself a favor and love your body today. Appreciate it for everything it has done for you, and marvel at what it allows you to accomplish.

PS. You still have a few days left to enter for a Free 2014 Spartan Race Entry! You’ll have a a whole new appreciation of your body after completing one!

Confessions of a Newbie Swimmer

“Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. And when I’m swimming, sometimes I’m not sure which one it is.”

-Demetri Martin

Some people (ok A LOT of people) say that swimming is the most dangerous part of triathlon. While it’s true that people who die during triathlon generally do so in the swim, I’m not really sure whether this is because swimming is more dangerous or just because it comes first. Personally, I’d consider myself far more likely to kill or maim myself during the cycling portion… though I could also see where drowning myself might seem a good alternative to the bike…

Anyway, my point is that swimming can be a pretty scary part of triathlon training, especially for people like me who are just learning. That is why I thought it would be very kind and gracious of me to impart to all the other newbie swimmers everything I’ve learned thus far about the leg of triathlon (statistically) most likely to kill you.

If you are anything like me, your initial visits to the pool have had you filled with anxiety and dread. Being unable to breath comfortably during physical activity is not a particularly good time… especially when you are first learning to swim- with no concept of timing your breath or lung capacity to speak of. What I would recommend in this scenario is to find a swim instructor who is more terrifying than the water. Faced with the prospect of getting yelled at or publicly humiliated, the water doesn’t actually seem that bad. However, if this option doesn’t appeal to you, you can also try having a more experienced swimmer or trusted friend come with you for moral support while you get the hang of things. I would recommend picking someone not prone to mocking or teasing as the sight of you attempting not to drown in a public setting may be too much for even a good friend to resist.

Another method I found useful as a total newb was to inform the lifeguard on duty that I ~~had no idea what I was doing~~ was a new swimmer. He would direct to me to a lane with a friendly swimmer, and then I would proceed to let ~~EVERYONE~~ the people swimming around me also know that I was new to swimming and welcome to feedback. This was helpful in a few ways. First, by alerting the life guard and other swimmers that I was new, I let them know I was receptive to advice not only on my swimming, but also the pool etiquette. In general, people were happy to assist in this capacity. It also gave the lifeguard a heads up to keep an eye on me and make sure I didn’t drown.

Another tip I would recommend is to take lessons. If you are really self conscious or don’t know how to swim at all, start with a private lesson. If you already know how to rotary breath but could use a refresher, consider a program like Masters Swim. I signed up for Masters Swim not knowing how to swim properly based on some bad advice from a YMCA staff member… much to the displeasure of the night coach. In the end it turned out ok, but my introduction to swimming likely would have been a better experience had I started with the basics.

That being said, I cannot speak enough about the benefits of swimming in a group like the Masters Swim program. I find that my swimming anxiety is dramatically reduced if I am swimming in a class compared to when I am alone. I also swim better. I think this is partly because I have other people to pace off and partly because I don’t have time to think about what I’m doing. Plus, it is a great opportunity to get constructive feedback on how to swim more efficiently and learn drills to improve my stroke. I can honestly say I have picked up something new in every class, and it has made me significantly more confident about swimming on my own.

Besides that, there is a lot of value in the moral support of other newbie swimmers… especially when you bond closely over being terrified of both swimming and the coach (…mostly the coach). Before I ever looked forward to swimming, I looked forward to seeing my swim family… including the coach. She turned out not to be so bad once we got the hang of things and got to know her.. though she is still terrifying.

Having spent the past several months consistently swimming there are also actually a few things I’ve learned for myself. For starters, regardless of how much I improve, there are still a lot of days I get in the pool and feel like I am drowning more than swimming for most of my workout. I try to remind myself that every swim can’t be a great swim the same as every run won’t be a great run. When I have a crappy day in the pool, I find focusing on my form and going slow helps. I have also discovered that when I am tired and winded it not only helps to slow down, but also to kick less and really work on finishing my stroke and rotating my shoulders. The more I push off on the last part of my stroke, the faster I tend to go- surprisingly regardless of how fast or swim or kick.

Back when I first started swimming, I would only go as far as the edge of the shallow end (and inhale about half the pool in the process). Then with practice I could do the full 25 meters. I thought it was HUGE progress when I started doing full laps, and now I’ve worked my way up to swimming 100m intervals. The thing about swimming is if I am consistent, I find I steadily improve. In the beginning it was by leaps and bounds every time I got in the water. Now it’s more subtle changes, but I am still continually making progress.

Most triathletes I talk to ~~HATE~~ LOATHE the swim and dread doing it; however, I have actually learned to love swimming. I have finally gotten to a point where I enjoy it more than I get anxiety about it. In fact, after a few days out of the water I start to actually miss it. gasp! It’s a nice break from the pounding and impact that come from running and cross training with the same mental alt-control-delete.

To the people still struggling, I’d say try and stick with it. If you do it consistently, you will find it gets a lot easier. You may even grow to like it. Trust me, if I can get the hang of it than anyone can. Now if only I could learn to love the cycling… Or find an indoor tri with a spin bike. 😉

VINDICATION!

“Energy and persistence conquer all things.”
-Benjamin Franklin

I am nothing is not persistent. From the time I was a small child, there was no telling me I couldn’t do something. Ever determined, I would simply redouble my efforts to find another way. Once my heart was set on something, there was no redirecting me. Perhaps this is why as an adult I own two bulldogs… It’s my appreciation for the obstinate.

When I signed up for swim class, I was already determined to swim. It was not just something I wanted to do, it was something I HAD to do. It didn’t matter that I had anxiety and hyperventilated every time I put my face in the water. Nor did it matter that I never learned to swim properly. If I was going to take on a half ironman and potentially a full ironman, I was going to have to get the hang of it. My goal was not just to learn to swim, but to swim well enough to survive 1.2 miles in open water. This was my task, and I was going to find a way.

When I decided to join the YMCA and take swimming lessons, I was both excited and terrified. I knew it would be a huge leap out of my comfort zone, but I was ready for the challenge. I never imagined that the evening coach would be more intimidating than the water! I was completely devastated when she kicked me out of class. It was as if she had confirmed all of my worst fears about myself by pointing out I wasn’t good enough. However, thanks to some tremendous personal growth over the past several years and a strong sense of self I was able to bounce back from the blow pretty quickly. Instead of wasting another moment feeling badly about myself, I came up with a new game plan before I even left the parking lot… granted I was crying at the time, but never more resolute!

I was not about to let some coach who didn’t know the first thing about me tell me I wasn’t good enough. I have a lot of experience with being underestimated. I’m petite, soft spoken, and polite. People frequently mistake the fact that I’m quite and reserved for a lack of confidence and self assurance. However, I am NO PUSHOVER. I know who I am and what I’m capable of, and this woman clearly did not. All she saw was someone she thought was struggling to swim: a snap shot in time with no backstory. I knew for a fact that I would make her eat those words.

I went to that pool and swam everyday after my first class, including the full workout the day she kicked me out and our session on the weekend. I went to that pool on the days I had to work, days I got out late, and days when I was stuck in traffic and knew I’d only have 30 minutes to swim before the pool closed. I went everyday for a week straight before I ended up at the pool while swim class was taking place. They had already started when I arrived. I wandered over to an open lane and started my usual drills and laps. I was swimming for almost 45 minutes when I looked up and realized that the swim coach was waving excitedly at me with the entire group in the beginner lane. Upon returning to the far end of the pool, they erupted into applause. She had stopped them to watch me swim and they cheered for me enthusiastically.

I’d be a liar if I said I wasn’t surprised. In fact, I was shocked. That class is so intense, I didn’t expect anyone to notice I was even there. I figured I would fly under the radar per usual. Their excitement gave me enough of a boost to swim longer than usual, and I was happy to at least enjoy the company of my new beginner lane friends in spirit. I knew they were rooting for me. Unlike the coach, they understood where I was coming from. They struggled with the breathing the way I had, and looked anything other than graceful in the water the way I did. There was no judgement in the beginner lane. We were all terrified together, hoping not to be singled out by the coach or drown mid lap. Our fear of the coach and the water had bonded us almost immediately.

I am fairly certain that seeing me “transformed” into someone who could swim full laps somewhat gracefully with my face in the water gave them hope that they could too. After all, I was the worst swimmer in class according to the coach- the one who was so awful I was kicked out of class! Now the same coach was having them watch my swimming to illustrate how much improvement I had made. If a disaster like me could do it, of course they could!

After class, the girl I had talked most at our last class came running up to me in the locker room to tell me how thrilled she was for me. “You look like you really know what you’re doing!” I think she was more excited for me than I was for myself. She said she had asked the coach to show her how to rotary breath the way she had taught me. The rest of women shared her surprise and enthusiasm. Even the woman from the more advanced groups offered me sincere congratulations on all the improvement I had made. It was clear though, that it was the beginner group that was most elated, as this was a victory for all of us. Score 1 for the slow lane!

Then upon exiting the locker room I heard the words I thought would never come “So are you coming back to class?” It was the evening coach. I replied that I wasn’t sure if my swimming was strong enough partially because I was still in shock at the suggestion. She told me I should come to the next class to “See how it goes”. I’m sure that she was patting herself on the back and taking full credit, which is actually fine by me. I am just pleased to know it only took me 6 days to make her eat her words. The same women who initially suggested I get remedial lessons and try swim classes again in January at the earliest was now personally inviting me to class and using my swimming as an example to other beginners.

Like I said, she had no idea who she was dealing with. 😉

Nyad’s team responds to skeptics doubting her swim (bigstory.ap.org)
Never too late to learn how to swim (redcrosstalks.wordpress.com)

You Don’t Belong Here

“Life is a series of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though sometimes it is hard to realize this. For the world was built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and grieves which we endure help us in our marching onward.”

-Henry Ford

On Wednesday morning I had my very first swimming lesson, and I thought it went pretty well. I was both nervous and excited about my second class Thursday night, so I made it a point to head out of work early and ensure I got there on time. As it turned out, I got there a little early so I spent about 30 minutes swimming laps before class. Well, I thought I was swimming laps, the women in the lane next to me (who, unfortunately for me, happened to be the night coach) thought they were more of an abomination and insult to the sport of swimming.

That is at least what I surmised when she pulled me aside before the class even started and suggested I get a refund. It wasn’t really a suggestion. She actually told me that they should have made sure I knew how to “rotary breath” before I signed up. I suppose I could see her point, but her delivery really sucked. Plus, I had been very honest about my skill level (ie. swimming to avoid drowning) when I asked about swim classes. The woman who signed me up was emphatic about this specific class, and told me that I would pick things up more quickly because the class was a mix of beginner and advanced swimmers. She stressed that beginners were welcome. This was reiterated by the morning coach who assured me I would not be the only person in class unfamiliar with swim caps, goggles, and lap swimming. After hearing the same message repeated by the other swimmers, I was really starting to believe them. “You’re in the right place” they kept telling me.

Now I found myself in my second swimming class being told not to return. The message was loud and clear: YOU DON’T BELONG HERE! She suggested I get ~~remedial~~ beginner classes; and then, when the tears started, she told me to come back this morning and she would spend some time with me. It was really the LAST THING I was interested in doing, but I wasn’t about to give her the satisfaction of knowing how deeply I was wounded.

After the huge blow, she proceeded to give me instructions on the workout along with everyone else. YES– she had me stay for the workout after kicking me out! The other people in the class were super friendly and supportive, which only made me more disappointed that I wasn’t allowed back. I choked back the tears and sucked it up through each group of drills. After it was over, I bawled my eyes out in the locker room. The other women who were in the class did their best to make me feel better. They told me that the night coach is really tough on everyone; and it was obvious during the session that she did a lot of yelling (…and that the majority of the class was afraid of her). They encouraged me to stick with it and offered to help with my swimming.

As upset and disappointed as a was, I was more determined than ever. I certainly was not going to let some biotch tell me I’m not good enough. I had been swimming all of 2 days at that point, and had already made HUGE gains. My swimming wasn’t pretty, but I wasn’t sinking either. I was plowing out laps like it was my job. I understand that the rotary breathing is important; however, I was clearly willing to practice on my own and told them I would get my husband to help me. I didn’t agree with her decision to kick me out when there were clearly people in her class struggling more than I was. I wasn’t the only person not keeping my face in the water, but for some reason I was the only one singled out.

This woman, obviously didn’t know who she was dealing with. Back in high school I was cut from the track team repeatedly before they finally relented and let me on the team. They ultimately had no choice because I kept showing up to practice regardless of whether I was on the team or not. I thought about doing the same with her class, but it wasn’t exactly a friendly learning environment… Plus, I think she’d have a conniption. In an odd way, the parallel to the start of my running career made me feel slightly better. I wasn’t good enough for the track team my first time out, yet here I am a week away from my first 50K. Maybe it’s a sign that the same will be true for swimming. I won’t just get the hang of it, I’ll become passionate about it. Granted, there aren’t a lot of coaches out there who admire passion over talent, but I have to say that it’s gotten me a lot further in life than talent ever has.

My point is, this isn’t the first time I have put myself out there to try something new only to have someone tell me I’m not good enough. I’ve never let anyone else deter me, so I certainly wasn’t going to let this woman. Instead, I decided I would spend time in the pool everyday, even if it meant after a 13+ hour shift, until I got the hang of the breathing. It would be my personal F- you to this women for kicking me out.

So I did go and swim after work last night. I went even though I got out late, got stuck in traffic, and knew I’d only have 30 minutes at best before the pool would close. I practiced the drills we did in class and tried my best to get comfortable with having my face in the water. Then this morning I got up early and met Miss-You’re-Not-Good-Enough at the pool. I had been absolutely dreading it, but it turned out she was much nicer (not nice, but significantly less bitchy) when not teaching a whole class. It only took 15 minutes with her for me to get the hang of turning my shoulder and breathing properly. She couldn’t get over how quickly I picked it up and how “beautiful” and “streamlined” I swam once I got it. She even admitted she was impressed, though the look on her face said it all. It was quite priceless, actually.

She didn’t invite me back to class, but at least now I know how to swim properly when I practice on my own. I also have the card of the aquatics director (who tracked me down in the locker room when I was crying). She told me to touch base with her and we would “work something out”. I’m not sure if this means swimming with her or in a different class, but I’ll do whatever it takes to get it down.

When I first signed up for swim classes, I just wanted to learn to swim well enough to finish the half ironman. However, now that I got kicked out of swim class, I’m determined to be the best swimmer I can be. After spending time with numerous horrible coaches in high school and college and over 5 years with an abusive ex, I’m certainly not going to let one swim coach with a chip on her shoulder bring me down. I think I have enough experience in dealing with self-esteem bashing jerks to be able to handle her. In fact, I find that the best method is usually to make them eat their words, and I think I’m already well on my way to doing that. 🙂

Entering New Territory

“Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life

as by the obstacles which he has overcome.”

-Booker T. Washington

Thank you Man Bicep! Love this one!

Today I entered uncharted territory: I started swim lessons. This was a HUGE step for me, and the final piece in my triathlon training journey. I had intentionally saved swimming for last because I knew it would be the most difficult for me. I was so nervous about the class starting that I literally got no sleep. I was up every hour on the hour and just lied awake most of the night. I was afraid that my total lack of experience would be an issue and that the swim instructor or other class members would be impatient and mean. What I found when I arrived was quite the opposite!

The swim coach assured me that I would not be the only person foreign to lap swimming (as well as swim caps, goggles, etc), and although that was a total lie and I was the ONLY inexperienced person in the class, things still went remarkably well. The first half of the class I tried to get the hang of putting my face in the water and breathing properly, but I was really struggling- despite the best efforts of the coach to help me. I just couldn’t get the hang of the rhythm, and found I didn’t have enough time to get air in before putting my face back in the water. I ultimately figured I could either spend my class time working on the breathing or attempt to do the work out . It seemed more helpful to focus on the workout and practice proper breathing on my own time.

Once I did give up on putting my face in the water, I was actually able to keep up with the rest of the “slow” group. I was pleasantly surprised at just how many laps I was able to swim with fairly minimal rest in between. The other swimmers were not bothered by my total newbiness, and that was a huge comfort. In fact, they were all very supportive, assuring me it would get easier and that I was in the right place. One swimmer even offered to work with me on the breathing outside of class, which was a super kind gesture. Even the life guard introduced himself and offered support….which made me wonder just how badly I looked like I was struggling. I later found out that he was the one who had taught the swimmer who offered to help me how to breath properly a few years earlier. It appeared I was not the only person picking up swimming as an adult after all.

Maybe it was the fact that I was so much younger than everyone else that caused everyone to take me under their wing; however, I’m noticing that people at the YMCA are like that. It’s like a little community there with everyone on a first name basis, which is probably why new people stick out like a sore thumb to them. It’s comforting to be in such a warm, friendly environment when taking on something as anxiety provoking (for me) as swimming. There is just something about putting my face in the water that makes me tense up and hyperventilate! Yet, I think if I am going to overcome that anxiety and get the hang of swimming properly that the other swimmers are right about me being in the right place.

Being in that pool today, I was pleasantly surprised with myself. Of course, I was not thrilled about being unable to conquer the breathing, but I was excited that I was able to swim so many laps. More than that, I was keeping up with people who have a lot more experience at swimming than I do. Given that I have almost 8 months before the half ironman, I ~~think~~ hope I should be in good shape.

In other riveting news, I also started spin classes today! It was super fun too! Adam and I went together, but I don’t think he was quite as enthusiastic as I was. In fact, I noticed I was the only person smiling through the entire workout, which I don’t completely understand… Doesn’t everyone love endorphins? 😉 By the end of the class, I had covered over 23 miles which is kind of ridiculous even for a bike. That’s sub 3 minute miles! Plus, that was on top of my hour of swimming (no rest for the weary there!), 4 mile run (on the dreadmill at 9 min pace), and full leg workout with the trainer. I think it’s safe to say that I am going to be very sore and hungry tomorrow! Don’t worry, I did at least take a nap in between my leg workout and the spinning. 🙂

Tomorrow it’s back to work, but I am hoping to get out early enough to catch the next swim class afterward… that is if I am still able to move by tomorrow… Hopefully I will get some decent rest tonight. If nothing else, at least I get to sleep until 4:30 instead of getting up at 4 for the pool!

My New Home and the Next Step

“A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.”
-Lao Tzu

Sadly, I am almost finished with the last of my training sessions. :’-( As it worked out, they wrap up just in time for the Bimbler’s Bluff 50K. I think I can safely say that I am in the best shape I’ve ever been in, and I’m hoping that will be enough to carry me through what I know will be a grueling run. As an added incentive to hang in there, I have asked the women I am fundraising for to write some notes of encouragement that I can carry with me and read when I’m exhausted and want nothing more than to quit. More than just having the letters to read, it will mean beyond I can even express in words to have them with me through the day. It’s a tangible reminder to why I will be there. Plus, I also feel like it’s a great symbolic gesture to carry them (the women, not the notes) with me on that day to overcome the challenge together. After all, our strength is drawn from our sense of community. In reality, I think it might be the thrivers who will truly being carrying me through the day and not the other way around…

My cool new swimming gear!

Despite all the initial drama with my trainer, I have to admit that he has kind of grown on me… sort of like a little brother who annoys the hell out of you but you love him anyway... Once we had a chance to hash things out, we were able to build a pretty solid partnership; and I am truly bummed to see it end. As much as I would love to continue training even on a once weekly basis, between the amount of time I’ll be spending on triathlon training and the need to cut back on expenses, I just don’t think it will be feasible the next few months. I suppose I will have to resort to kicking my own butt for awhile. At least it’s something we all know I have experience with. Plus with all the swimming, biking, and running that is about to commence, I am hoping I won’t lose too much ground in the conditioning department. Besides, I always have Insanity and P90X to fall back on for cross training… and my trusty pull-up bar. 😉

The positive part about my training ending is I now have the time and funds (well not really, but I’ll make it work) to start swimming. Up until this point I have only known how to swim to avoid drowning, so I definitely have A LOT to learn… Possibly even more than with cycling. Maybe I should be more scared… Better yet, maybe the swim instructors should be!

However, I am determined and committed. (I would like to cite the fact that I found a swim suit, goggles, and swim cap all in the off season today as proof!) I have been trying to find an affordable place to swim with a flexible pool schedule for quite some time now, and let me tell you it has been no easy task! Ultimately, we decided that the Greater Waterbury YMCA will be my new home- for at least the next 8 months anyway.

I picked the Greater Waterbury YMCA over our local one because they have two pools instead of one and a way more flexible lap swim schedule. In fact, I don’t think there are any hours that they don’t allow lap swimming during the day. They also have off street parking AND for some reason the membership was cheaper… which makes no sense because it’s all the same organization. Anyway, now that we joined, we can go to either one so I guess it doesn’t really matter. Adam had pushed for the YMCA over the other pools I looked at because they offer spin classes (in addition to a multitude of other classes which I’m kind of excited to try out… if I ever have spare time between all my other athletic endeavors). They also just did a 10 million renovation so the facility itself is really nice, nicer than our current gym actually and with more equipment including bikes!

As sad as I am to close the chapter on my personal training, I am equally excited about taking the next step in my journey to becoming an ironman (or at least half of one)! I already signed up for swimming lessons and am hoping to take my first one tomorrow after work. I am happy that my new home is filled with friendly, helpful staff, AND that they have a triathlon club which starts up this winter. I am really looking forward to taking on this next challenge and making another step in the direction of my goal… I just hope I don’t drown in the process 😉