boot camp

Dare. Dream. Do.

“Life is what you make it. Always has been, always will be. ”
― Eleanor Roosevelt

I am loving life today!  Maybe it’s because I got my morning workout in.  Maybe it’s because I just cleaned my house.  Maybe it’s because I’m not feeling like death is warming over me.  However, more likely it’s because I just spent time on Facebook and it reminded me of how many truly amazing people are in my life. (okay, the death no longer warming over me is probably a big part too… 😉 ) These are people who love, support, and accept me; who encourage me both through their words and actions- some without even realizing it.

I have had a lot of truly hard times in my young (milking what’s left of my twenties…j/k. Age is just a number!) life, but I don’t resent them.  In fact, I am grateful for every bump (or mountain) in the road.  This may seem like an odd statement, but stop and think about it.  Have you ever made a big positive change in your life when things were going great? DUH! Of course not!  We only change direction when we realize something isn’t working- or get completely tired of being fat, miserable, lonely, etc.  No one waking up in the morning and says “wow, my life is awesome.  I think I’m going to change it”.  However, when you hit a major wall or rock bottom– that’s the time when you really start to reexamine things and evaluate what you really want in life.

Amazing things happen when we are pushed outside our comfort zones.  It’s so easy to fall into a rut and not even realize it when life seems to go okay.  However, the natural twists and turns of life are meant to shake us out of complacency.  It’s a reminder that life is short and good times don’t last forever.  If you woke up every morning with the reminder that your energy has limits and your time on this earth is finite, how would that affect your priorities that day?  If you are like me and have been kicked in the teeth a few times by life- you get it.  I only have so much of myself to put into each day.  I’m not going to waste it getting caught up in drama or being angry at people who aren’t significant to me.  Instead, I am going to use that energy to make a positive impact and do things that make me feel good- whether it’s getting in a tough workout or helping out a friend.

Speaking of which, have you ever noticed how the worst moments in your life frequently coincide with meeting the most amazing people?  How many people have gone through a terrible break up only to find Mr. or Mrs. Right a short time after?  Or, take the example of a women leaving an abusive relationship and then finding unconditional acceptance in a support group.  How many times have you bonded with a new friend over something terrible that you both experienced?  Common interests may bring people together, but it’s the hard times in our lives that bind us.

One of the greatest blessings of hitting rock bottom is finding out who your real friends are.  I know what relationships are worth putting energy into- and it is AMAZING just how many you can maintain when they don’t suck the life out of you.  I finally know how to make time for the people who matter, and let go of the people who don’t.  I have enough friends in my life who appreciate me the way I am, I don’t need to worry about the “haters” who don’t.  I can’t even explain how refreshing it is to live life without apologizing for being me.  I used to be such a people pleaser and, truthfully, still am.  The difference is now I only focus on pleasing people who are important to me.

I am so much more content with my life now than I ever was in the past.  Sure, I had to get through a lot of muck to arrive here- but the view is great (and so is the company!). 😉  I don’t feel guilty for staying home and working out anymore.  I am learning how to say no instead of spreading myself too thin.  I am pushing my boundaries, and really feeling what it’s like to love and accept myself. (although it’s still weird to say it)

I honestly believe with all my heart that EVERYONE (even mean people) has a right to happiness.  I also believe that happiness, like failure, is a choice.  It’s a choice you make everyday when you get up in the morning, and it isn’t always easy.  Today I choose to be happy.  I choose to feel good about myself.  I choose to be grateful and love life.  It’s yours and mine for the taking. 🙂

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Keep on Keeping on

“Those who think they have not time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness.”
– Edward Stanley

I am a little annoyed with my body today.  Not in the typical female-picking-myself-apart way; but in the I-can’t-believe-I’m-F-ing-sick-this-is-totally-cramping-my-style way.  I spent most of my morning trying to convince myself I am fine and didn’t catch anything, but just finally broke down and bought some pseudophed.  Apparently, a fit lifestyle is not a free ticket to completely avoiding illness… bogus, right?

What?! That's right! All done with week 1.

In reality, I should be glad I have avoided getting sick this long, especially when everyone at work has been calling out with the flu ever since the new year rolled around.  However, I’m am hoping I can still head it off now that I have drugs, especially since I took a power nap today.

I can tell you one thing though, this icky sinus thing DID NOT keep me from my workout this morning!!!!  That means I am finished with week 1 of INSANITY. (woot woot!)  The workouts definitely get harder the more of them you do, and I think it’s primarily from your muscles getting fatigued.  I definitely found the cardio pylo harder today than I did the first time I did it, but that could be partly because my body is too busy fighting off this bug to cooperate…  I still got through more reps than Adam though, so that made me feel a little better. 😉  (In his defense, he’s chronically sleep deprived, and I give him props for doing it with me two days in a row now… especially when he knows I’m going to make him look bad. j/k)

It was SO NICE out today that I was more than a little bummed about napping instead of running, but I think it was for the greater good.  I would rather miss one run than get more sick and miss work.  Plus, I want to get over this thing and back to pushing 100%.  I am just keep telling myself that spring is around the corner, and there will be many more beautiful running days.  It’s so hard when you have that itch to get out there though!!!

Tomorrow is a rest day for Insanity, and I have to work (no boot camp for me 😦 ).  That means rest day in general- probably the only one this week.  Unfortunately I can only make one boot camp session this week (it would be none if I didn’t end up swapping  a day), but at least I will have Insanity… and –fingers crossed– some running!

I guess I could try to...

PS. Mike- even being sick, Insanity was STILL not harder than boot camp today.

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Don’t Step on My Sunshine

“That’s my gift. I let that negativity roll off me like water off a duck’s back.

If it’s not positive, I didn’t hear it.

If you can overcome that, fights are easy.”

-George Foreman

Generally speaking, positivity is my baseline state of existence (possibly related to all the exercise associated endorphins).  However, I have noticed recently that there are some people in my life who are extremely annoyed by it and working hard to drag me down.

Specifically, I believe these people are threatened and dismayed by my refusal to get sucked into their negativity and drama (or by my overwhelming awesomeness…. jury is still out j/k)  In all seriousness, I have been making a very concerted effort to avoid negative thinking or speaking because it just ends up making me feel bad; and frankly, I’m just not a gossipy, mean spirited person.  I think everyone gets fed up to the point of complaining (including me), but I really try to reel myself in and cut it off.  Having struggled so hard to gain happiness back after trauma, I’m just not willing to risk engaging in anything that’s going pull me back down to that dark place.

Of course, this has not been going over well with certain individuals, and there’s been several comments made involving how I think I’m better than them and just love everybody- including people they dislike immensely.  Realistically, there are a lot of people I can’t stand and happen to interact with on a regular basis.  However, I still treat them pleasantly because it’s a reflection of who I am -not what I think of them, and no, it’s not fake.  I don’t think not liking someone is an acceptable excuse to trash him/her and be disrespectful.  Bottom line: talking sh*t about other people and treating them like dirt (even if it seems justified) only makes you look bad and wastes a lot of energy.  I don’t have time for that kind of negativity.  It has nothing to do with thinking I’m better than you.  It has EVERYTHING to do with preserving my own sanity.

The thing that has really been bugging me recently, though, is the constant barrage criticism directed at me.  Most annoying are the comments involving what I eat.  Since I started training for the Hartford marathon and working out a lot harder several months ago, I have been needing to eat every 2-3 hrs or I get light headed and develop a terrible headache.  It’s not like I’m pigging out on garbage (or even eating a lot in one sitting)- however one individual in particular feels the need to point out how many calories are in everything I eat and why he has a problem with me eating it (and no, I didn’t ask for his nutrition advice). He even told me yesterday “I hate you. You eat ALL THE TIME and you’re still so skinny.” Seriously???? Would you like to come work out with me?  Maybe you should try burning 4000 calories in a single run and then come back and tell me what I should or shouldn’t be eating.  I don’t smoke, I don’t use drugs, I RARELY drink, I work out multiple times a day, and have even given up diet soda (tear… 😦) and someone has the nerve to tell me I eat too much and he hates me for not gaining weight.  Someone please pinch me because I am living in an alternate universe where people suddenly feel they have the right to monitor what I’m putting in my mouth and give me an attitude about it.  I didn’t get thin and in shape by accident or luck. I  BUST MY ASS to look like this, so until you are willing to do the same, back off!

Also, if I am eating a soup (small soup for that matter…it was brocolli in case you’re curious) from Au Bon Pain, don’t come tell me what a waste of money it was and how I should bring my food from home.  I am well aware of how much I paid for it.  I don’t bug you every time you buy a coffee.  Yes, I paid $6 for a cup of soup and piece of corn bread- now let me enjoy it in peace.  It was worth the $6 to me to get a little happiness from a cup of soup after busting my ass all day and now you’re giving me attitude about it.  Despite what you may think you are not “doing [me] a favor”, you’re actually irritating me.  I don’t keep track of what you do with your money, please grant me the same respect.

Soooooo…. as you may have guessed yesterday was a stressful day at work.  Instead of burying myself in a bottle of wine or bag of name-your-junk food when I got home, I did the first Insanity workout.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, I managed to not blow up at any of the people getting on my nerves.  I did, however, point out to the food police (the soup thing was actually a different person) that if he stop drinking like a fish and worked out, he might find he’d lose the weight he wanted.  Just for the record, I actually do like the food police (he does, in fact, have many good qualities); he just has a way of taking out his own insecurities on other people.  I feel like I am much better at dealing with this behavior than I used to be, and a lot of it comes from just being more secure in myself.  That being said, he still irritated the H-E- double hockey sticks out of me yesterday.

Normally, I try to keep my posts pretty positive- but I’m human, and this was something that really bugged me.  Being an individual who tends to mind my own business, I can’t comprehend how a person can get so up in other peoples’ business and feel like they have the authority to tell them how they should be living their  lives.

I’m sorry to disappoint everyone who has an opinion about how much I work out, my eating habits, my relationship with Adam, or anything else going on in my life; but I am going to continue following my own heart and doing what’s best for me.  If I screw up, then it’s my lesson to learn.  If I get hurt, I’ll deal with the consequences.  From now on, if you truly want to be a part of my life, try keeping your negative comments to yourself- as frequently your “constructive critism” is really just critism and not constructive at all.  I’m a good person, I treat other people with respect, I take care or my body, I’m responsible, I volunteer, and I’m happy with my life.  I think I’ve been managing okay on my own.  I’m not going to stop being who I am because it threatens or offends you.  Let me be me.

And don’t step on my sunshine…

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Oh my abs…

“Decide. Commit. Succeed.”

-Beach Body

These are clearly not my abs…

But they are very sore!  Not sure which workout did it, but I even have pain in my love handle region (yup, even skinny, workout-a-holic, marathon runners can have love handles).  I am taking it as a sign of their inevitable demise… like they are crying out in anguish as I diligently work to annihilate them. “We’re meelllttting….meeellllttting!”

Sorry. Having a Wizard of Oz moment. 😉

For a while now, I’ve noticed that I haven’t been that sore after working out.  Not even after boot camp (despite feeling like I’m going to die DURING the sessions).  It’s been really frustrating because I’ve been pushing so much harder in my cross training, and I feel like my muscles are refusing to acknowledge my efforts.  Originally I thought it was because I wasn’t logging all the crazy running mileage lately.  Then I thought it might be the extra protein I’ve been cramming in- but either way it still made me feel like a slacker.

That is until Monday night- when I rolled over and woke up from the familiar sensation of pain in every muscle in my body. LOL   I’m not sure whether it was the rock climbing on Sunday or the triple workouts earlier that day that finally pushed me over the edge.

BTW , why is it that the real soreness hits 2 days after the fact instead of immediately?…It’s like a con to keep you working out cause you feel fine and then all of a sudden you feel like you got hit by a truck. (Or you hurt everywhere immediately and think “S%^T…Can’t wait to see what tomorrow feels like!” )

Anyway, initially I was sort of puzzled as to why my abs were so much more sore than the rest of my body because I didn’t feel like we did a ton of ab exercises at boot camp.  Then I did Insanity today and realized that maybe we did as I found myself doing ski abs (BOOO!!!) and  in & outs all over again.  (We also did body saws… which I hate even more than ski abs- picture a plank involving moving men, enough said– which is why I practice them regularly at home and remind myself that I once hated push-ups too… ok so maybe this also could be contributing to my ab pain)

Overall, boot camp Monday night was awesome!  We did 8 different exercise stations of 8 reps 8 times.  In addition to the in & outs, body saws, and ski abs, the exercises included burpees, push-ups, one legged dips (8 each leg), sprints, and walking lunges (8 each leg).  I was already sore from my previous 2 workouts, but plowed through the whole thing anyway (and still finished ahead of Adam by a healthy margin…but who’s keeping track?)  I think part of my determination came from the fact that I had just done the Insanity Fit Test and beat both the people in the video on their reps (who had already been through the 6 wk program)- clearly proving boot camp has improved my endurance!  Truthfully, even the first cardio workout today was easier than the stuff Mike puts us through.  While I admit I was getting tired by the start of the last interval- it was the LAST interval.  Mike has me working to the point of almost passing out or throwing up by half way through his classes on a regular basis- and this was no where near that!  That being said, it was still an intense workout.  Oh, and I really enjoyed the stretching!

Here is my initial Fit Test result:

Number of reps in 1 minute (with some dog interference)

Switch Kicks 136

Power Jacks 60

Power Knees 78 *

Power Jumps 64

Globe Jumps 12

Suicide Jumps (Burpees) 28

Push-up Jacks 31

Low Plank Obliques 115 **

*(I didn’t beat them on these, but also missed the fact I was supposed to switch legs…)

**(possibly why my love handles are screaming)

Also not me, but something to aim for…

In other news, I signed up for the New England Tough Mudder May 6th 🙂  A bunch of people from boot camp are doing it so it should be a lot of fun.

I have also set a goal for myself to be able to do a pull up (unassisted) by the end of the year.  I figure if I can get from struggling to do one push-up to 300, then it’s a pretty reasonable goal… even if I can’t picture ever being able to.  lol

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It’s Here!!! It’s Here!!!

“Exercise is good for your mind, body, and soul.”

– Susie Michelle Cortright

So excited!!!!

So this morning I did my usual Jackie work out and then headed over to my mom’s for some long overdo quality time.  We hit our favorite store Marshalls and I was able to pick up some awesome new workout duds for a great price 🙂

"Is that all you got?"

It’s funny how reluctant I always am to buy regular new clothes, but when it comes to workout clothes, it’s a-whole-nother story!  I guess I rationalize it as a reward for working hard. Plus, I spend more time in exercise apparel than everyday clothes anyway. 🙂  Besides, have you ever noticed how great new workout gear is for motivation?

I can’t wait to try them out at boot camp tonight!

I’m also glad to report that I FINALLY went grocery shopping today, so I’m not tempted to eat garbage.  I’m not sure why I always put it off so long.  I’m pretty certain, though, that if it were not for the fact that I’m on my last roll of toilet paper, I would have put it off even longer.  I have to admit that it pretty nice to actually have food (and healthy food at that!) in my cabinets!

Needless to say, I was already having a good day when I got home and found a package on my door step.  My Insanity DVDs came in a whole day early!!!! I’m SO PSYCHED.  I know I have boot camp tonight, and I already worked out this morning, but I can’t wait til my next day off to try it!!!!  I’m sure I will be kicking myself later (especially since I’m still sore from the climbing gym), but it will be SO WORTH IT!!!

Have an awesome Monday everyone!

 

I've been eyeing these shorts for a while...So colorful!

Love my Whale 🙂

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Life Without Boot Camp…

“I found every single successful person I’ve ever spoken to had a turning point.

The turning point was when they made a clear, specific unequivocal decision that they were not going to live like this anymore; they were going to achieve success.

Some people make that decision at 15 and some people make it at 50, and most people never make it at all.”

Brian Tracy

haha you know it's true!

In case anyone is wondering (or worried) I am continuing to survive my time without boot camp (just barely 😉 ).  Only one more day to go, and it will take nothing short of an act of God to keep me from class tomorrow night!!!!!  I have been continuing to use my Jackie Extreme Timesaver Workout DVD and adding additional exercise reps to keep myself from completely withdrawing.  Meanwhile, I continue to wait for my Insanity DVDs to arrive (it’s taking FOREVER!!!- or maybe it just feels like it and I’m being dramatic…).

As an added workout, Adam and I hit the climbing gym today.  It was the first time I had been there in a long time, and I was surprised that my harness was really loose when I pulled it on. (I’d say Woohoo for boot camp weight loss, but I have actually gained (stupid muscle weighing more than fat!)…so instead I’ll says Woohoo for inches lost in all the right places!)  Luckily, it still fit once I synched it down.  I was a little nervous about my arms being fatigued after all the upper body work I did in my morning workout; however, once we began climbing I was excited to find that my endurance was dramatically improved.  Unfortunately, my technique was totally off- apparently rock climbing is not like riding a bicycle.  Shocking, I know!

Prior to boot camp, I had to rely primarily on maneuvering my body efficiently to get up to the top.  Now that I have significantly more strength, my initial impulse was just to power up using my new and improved muscles.  Of course, this was not nearly as effective.  Looks like I’ll be needing to brush up on my skills.

Overall, it was still lots of fun. I would definitely recommend rock climbing to anyone looking for a fun, challenging total body workout.  This is definitely the most sore I’ve been in a long time!  Hopefully I can still move tomorrow!

Finally, in case anyone needs a laugh or a little inspiration, I wanted to share a couple links.  The first is a blog called “My Time is Now”  (also now located in my blogroll) which is written by a friend and fellow boot camper.  She is truly a thriver in my book –in addition to being one of the most inspiring, driven, caring, and compassionate people I’ve ever met. She’s risen above circumstances that would have caused others to crumble, and actually has a second blog I’d recommend that chronciles her mother’s battle with stage IV lung cancer.

Then- to help you clear up the tears– all my runner friends out there should check out this post by the Tortoise Runs for a good laugh.

One more funny thing for good measure:

Oh, I would also like to point out that I have added my trainer/boot camp instructor’s blog to my blogroll as well.  He was jealous insulted that I had added Kelly’s first, in spite of the fact that I regularly rave about how awesome he and boot camp are and frequently link to his page in my posts… (You knew I would call you out, right? ;-p I know, extra burpees tomorrow. Bring it on! lol)  Seriously though, his blog has some great advice and recipes.

  That’s all for tonight folks!  I hope you all are enjoying what’s left of your weekend!!!!

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One week with no boot camp…

“The key to successful training is comprised of motivation, determination,

and a healthy fear of your trainer.”

-The Running Thriver 😉

makes me a sad girl. 😦

My work schedule is in complete conflict with boot camp this week, which essentially means two things 1) I need to find a new job that is more accommodating of my boot camp addiction, and 2) I need to seriously kick my own butt this week.

I spent my entire morning running around in circles (on the phone, not literally…unfortunately) between ticket master and the Hartford XL Center trying to track down my missing hockey tickets (it took NINE separate phone calls and multiple emails) before it was finally decided I could pick them up at “will call”.  Keep your fingers crossed for me; I have a feeling it’s not over…

After all that drama, I truly needed a work out!  I popped in my trusty Jackie DVD and sailed through the workout.  Of course, now that I am a hardcore boot camper, I didn’t stop there.  Instead, I did the 1000+ rep ab workout I missed a few weeks ago from class.  I had been wanting to try it, so I was glad to have the perfect opportunity.  Luckily, my fellow boot camp addicts members were kind enough to post the full workout online. I had to look up a few of the exercises on YouTube to figure out how to do them, but that only took a few minutes and I was good to go.

The one part of the workout I didn’t do was the sprints.  I figured shoveling snow this morning and doing the DVD would make up for it.  I did do the rest though!!!  In fact, I am pretty sure I did a couple hundred extra reps because there were several points when I lost count and started over. lol  I also assumed that the flutter kicks were in the typical sets of 4 (counting 1-2-3-1, 1-2-3-2, 1-2-3-3, etc) and did 800+ total, which may or may not have been the intended amount.  There were a couple times I wanted to quit out of boredom with the high number of reps and general disdain for a few of the exercises (SKI ABS- BOOOO!), but impressed myself that I had enough discipline to complete everything without someone standing over my shoulder.  I have to admit though, that I did not get the same warm, fuzzy feeling after finishing that I do after a real boot camp session.  It was certainly better than nothing though!!!! I am going to just have to take what I can get until Monday…

AB workout Maximum Results Boot Camp Style

In related news, I am to breaking up with Jackie.  We had a lot of growth together, but she just doesn’t challenge me the way she used to.  It’s always the same routine with her, and I’m really ready to try something new.  I’ve officially invested in Insanity and am hoping Shaun T. will take me further in my fitness journey.

Joking aside, I really am looking forward to a new challenge; and I am hoping that these workouts will be a good substitute for the days I can’t make boot camp.  Hopefully my new DVDs will arrive soon and help with my withdrawal!!!!

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I am an Addict…
“I do it as a therapy.
I do it as something to keep me alive.
We all need a little discipline.
Exercise is my discipline.”
-Jack LaLanne
I would like to dedicate this post to my boot camp family…
Ladies and Gentleman,
I am addicted to boot camp.  Just in case you are worried you might be an addict to, I have complied a list of signs and symptoms to assist you in recognizing it.
1)  You spend most of your waking hours thinking about boot camp.
2)  You know how many hours it’s been since your last session and how many until your next one.
3)  You find yourself trying to schedule the rest of your life around your workouts.
4)  Everyone you know is aware that you do boot camp, including what days of the week you go.
5)  At least one person has mentioned how much you talk about boot camp and/or asked you to stop bringing it up
6)  You have tried to convince all your Facebook friends and coworkers to join, and have dragged at least one in person.
7)  More than 50% of your status updates involve boot camp, the gym, or working out.
8)  You know all the regulars at the gym…
9)  You find yourself doing boot camp workouts on days when there isn’t one scheduled.
10)  You have begged, badgered, or nagged your trainer to a hold group session because the boot camp sessions were too far apart.
11)  You regularly walk with a limp.
12)  You’re afraid that when you brush your hair in the morning you won’t be able to lift your arms.
13)  You frequently use stairs backwards.
14)  You’ve bribed someone to do your laundry to avoid using stairs all together.
15)  You have a fear of dropping things because your legs are too sore to bend.
16)  Your leisurely hikes turn into rock climbing sessions.
17)  You find yourself having difficulty with simple tasks like opening a car door, getting into the car, or turning the steering wheel after your workouts.
18)  You’ve done back-to-back boot camp sessions.
19)  You are constantly trying to find new ways to add protein to your diet.
20)  You own multiple items of clothing with a boot camp logo.
21)  You got a bunch of exercise equipment/apparel for Christmas- and got really excited about it.
22)  Your workout apparel is more expensive or nicer looking than your regular wardrobe.
23)  You have conversations about the “green monster” that don’t involve baseball.
24)  You think a 10+ mile obstacle race involving freezing water, fire, difficult terrain, obstacles, and electrocution sounds like a good time.
25)  You don’t think one workout in a day is enough.
26)  You spend more time with your boot camp family than you actual family.
27)  Missing a session of boot camp ruins your day.
28)  When you listen to the radio you evaluate each song’s potential for your workout playlist.
29)  Missing long periods of boot camp triggers bouts of depression.
30)  You find yourself evaluating objects for their potential as exercise equipment (examples: furniture movers, window sills, radiator covers, tree stumps, etc)
31)  You get delighted by your ability to lift and carry heavy objects such as firewood, tires, or bags of dog food.
32)  You don’t think puking during a workout is an excuse to stop.
33)  Pushing to the point of feeling light-headed or losing focus is a regular occurrence for you.
34)  You’ve woken up in the middle of the night after a workout in pain because you moved in your sleep, or have had to prop yourself up on your elbows to roll over in bed
35)  You do reps in multiples of 100 instead of 5 or 10.
36)  You refer to “can’t” as “the dirty ‘c’ word” and have removed it from your vocabulary.
37)  You have either done or forced someone else to do burpees as a punishment.
38)  You’ve considered being part of a boot camp flash mob.
39)  You can’t understand why everyone doesn’t find boot camp as awesome as you do.
40)  You finish your boot camp workouts with the feeling that you can conquer anything. (ie. boot camp gets you high)
41)  You’ve referred to your fellow boot campers as your other family.
42)  You don’t think a national holiday is an excuse not to have boot camp.
43)  You are incapable or backing down from a challenge.
44)  You’ve been bitten by a box…
45)  Your first thought of ninja or superman is an exercise and not a person.
46)  You’ve noticed people look at you like you are insane when you share your workouts.
47)  You’ve considered stealing a cane, wheelchair, or scooter from an elderly person after a workout because you thought you needed it more than he/she did.
48)  You’ve “borrowed” your child’s jump rope to practice.
49)  You find yourself  yelling “NO EXCUSES” at people.
50)  You couldn’t imagine life without boot camp.
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Oh It Hurts so Good!

“Clear your mind of can’t.”

-Samuel Johnson

I got my butt kicked (again) tonight… and I loved every second of it…

It’s funny how I can feel my mood start to dip when I get tired.  Yesterday I got called in to work the overnight shift because someone had called out (yup, I missed boot camp- TRAGIC!) Luckily I had already worked out once that morning, but didn’t get a chance to nap before going in due to the short notice.  I slept a couple hours when I got home this morning; but I could tell I was still dragging.  It’s funny how my anxiety/PTSD has a way of rearing it’s ugly head when I’m even a little sleep deprived.  For example, today I ordered broccoli pizza.  I specifically picked a new restaurant because I wanted white broccoli pizza (ricotta, garlic, etc), which our typical place doesn’t offer.  Well, they showed up with a regular pizza with broccoli on it, and I kid you not– it almost ruined my day.  I think this is partially because I was starving, but even at the time I thought it was RIDICULOUS to be so upset over a pizza.  Besides, the sent me a new one when I called, so I got a whole pizza for free which should have made me happy.  Instead, I was in a bit of a funk the rest of the day….

Until boot camp.  Boot camp always lifts my spirits.  It’s the perfect combination of exercise and meeting up with friends. 🙂  It’s about conquering challenges and  instantly makes you feel good about yourself (if you survive the workout ;)).  Tonight we did intervals of exercises with the goal of going as hard as possible.  By the time we got through to end of each round, my quads and calves were outright refusing to function.  I attempted to just focus on my breathing and keep pushing.  It was definitely rough, but I knew I couldn’t stop.

1) Mike would have totally called me out, and I am secretly (or not so secretly) terrified of him (jk…sort of)

2) I knew everyone else was suffering as much as I was- probably even more in the case of the new people!– and I didn’t want to cheat.

3) I HATE giving up.  It’s just not an option for me.

Maybe it’s the joint experience of absolute misery (have I mentioned how much I hate intervals?)  that has the group so bonded, but there’s definitely a tight-knit support system- which is a  real comfort when you’re struggling!

In the past, I would have stayed home and avoided people if I felt my mood dipping.  However, now I know better and use that as even further motivation to drag myself to the gym, for a run, or to boot camp.  I’m glad I have gotten to a point with my PTSD symptoms that I can feel them coming on, recognize the source, and do something about it. I am pretty certain that I will never get rid of my symptoms completely, but at least I have gotten better at coping with and managing them.  Everyone has his or her own battle or struggles in life, and I certainly could have worse problems to deal with.  Instead of focusing on how much happier or healthier I could be, I remind myself of how blessed and lucky I am to have not only survived everything I’ve been through, but overcome it.

Sorry I’m so late actually posting this! It took me forever to edit. I hope it’s finally in English!

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I Came, I Saw, I Conquered

“You are never really playing an opponent.

You are playing yourself,

your own highest standards,

and when you reach your limits, that is real joy.”
– Arthur Ashe

That is how I felt about boot camp Monday night.  Initially, I really wasn’t feeling up to going because my poor Lucy was not feeling well after her vet visit.  She was really making me worry because she looked so miserable and was refusing to move.  She was so pathetic!  Luckily, she perked up before it was time to leave.

The workout consisted of 400 sideways (curtsey) lunges, 400 power jacks, 400 skaters, and 200 burpees.  To be honest, I wasn’t intimidated.  Instead, I was SO RELIEVED there were NO GRASSHOPPERS involved. lol  I was totally in the zone when we started and plowed through the lunges.  I finished ahead of everyone else (mostly because I got a head start) and jumped right into the power jacks.  By the time I got to the skaters I was getting really nauseated and light headed.  I am pretty sure the room went out of focus a few times, but I kept pushing (even if it meant keeping my eyes closed!).  When I finally got to the burpees, I could only manage 10 at a time in an effort to avoid vomiting or passing out.

Despite the fact that the workout was TORTURE, I felt AMAZING when I finished!  All I could think is how much I struggled with my first real 1000 rep workout, and now I was pushing through all 400 lunges without a single break!  Boot camp makes me feel even more accomplished than I did after running a marathon.  I LOVE the people in our group.  Everyone supports and pushes each other.  It’s such a great, positive environment, and Mike, the trainer, is always coming up with new challenges.

That being said, I CAN”T WAIT TO GO BACK TONIGHT!!! lol  I am so thrilled to be able to make all the sessions this week.  I think it’s the only perk of having to work the weekend. 😉

I LOVE looking forward to working out the way I always have about running.   When winter used roll around, I’d get a little down about not being able to get out and run much.  Even though I would still go to the gym, I never enjoyed it as much as my runs outside. Now, I drag myself out to run in spite of the cold and get excited about waking up in the morning and working out as many times as I can fit in.  Most exciting: I found boot camp- the one workout I love as much as running.

I hope everyone has an AMAZING day!  Make the most of it!  If there is something you have been dying to do or try, go out and do it.  If I can run a marathon, I am certain that ANY person can fulfill his or her dreams.

Determination is key. 🙂

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