Color Purple Campaign

Lots of Going Ons

“I am here for a purpose and that purpose is to grow into a mountain, not to shrink to a grain of sand.

Henceforth will I apply ALL my efforts to become the highest mountain of all and I will strain my potential until it cries for mercy.”
Og Mandino

There has been so much going on in life recently!  I had an awesome board meeting with CT-Alive Friday night.  Being around those women is always a great and energizing experience.  We have so many terrific ideas about how to change the world and make it a better place!

According to their tally, the Running for the Color Purple Campaign has raised SEVERAL hundreds dollars so far- and I could not be more excited!  It is even more rewarding  than running all the miles. The members of the board were so encouraging and supportive.  I truly love them, and being a part of the organization.  It adds more meaning to my life- and, strangely, makes me feel like maybe the abuse and pain were for a reason.  The rainbow in this case was well worth the years of storming. 🙂

Pre-Marathon Jitters

“I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.”
Frank Herbert

Maybe jitters is an understatement… In truth, I am down right scared shitless terrified. The whole taper/rest thing hasn’t helped AT ALL!  How am I supposed to deal with all this stress without out running myself to the point of exhaustion, I mean really?  I think I am most frightened of not being able to finish- and the psychological devastation that would go with it.  I am only slightly less concerned about having to walk a significant portion; and my final lingering fear is the projection of being in some serious physical and mental torture for 5+ hours.

I find it slightly ironic (maybe even poetic) that I anticipate finsihing the marathon at around 5 and a half hours (body permitting!)- which is approximately one hour for every year I was with my abuser.  I keep reminding myself that 5+ hours of physical pain is a drop in the bucket in comparison to the years of abuse I endured.  Mentally, I know I have to strength to do; however, I am keeping my fingers crossed that my body and IT bands hold up for me.

As an added insurance policy, I just ordered a pair of compression tights from amazon.com.  I have had such great luck with my compression sleeves (even helping with my knee pain in a pinch!) that I hoped it might help with my IT band issues- which reared their ugly head during the Diva Half.  Any amount of reduction is the discomfort while running 26.2 miles is well worth the money spent in my opinion!  Plus, the product reviews looked really promising.

There are a few things that I will have going for me on race day (that I continually remind myself of).  First, I’ll have Adam with me, who- as far as I’m concerned- gets the BOYFRIEND OF THE YEAR AWARD for signing up to do this with me, ultra runner or not.  Just having someone there who supports and cares about me is something I know will make a HUGE difference.  Plus, I always push a little harder when we are running together.  What’s more Adam absolutely believes I am ready and can do this, and that almost makes me believe it too.  Second, I have a higher purpose for this run.  For once- hold your breath people- it’s not about the bling or racing swag. Instead, it’s about paying tribute to all those women and victims of violence who have suffered at the hand of an abuser.  It’s about taking a stand for those individuals and myself to say we are strong and we are going to do something about this.

I am happy to say the Running for the Color Purple Campaign is gaining momentum, and the money is starting to come in!  The campaign has gotten some publicity on the Channel 8 blog and with the Citizen’s News in my town.  I am beyond thrilled to be bring awareness to this cause, and my passion for it is what will help me push through the tough points when I am beyond fatigued and miserable.  Afterall, what wouldn’t you endure if it could mean changing or even saving someone else’s life?

Meds I may need by Saturday!

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Still Reeling

“You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true.

You may have to work for it, however.”

Richard David Bach

I am still in disbelief .  I just can’t wrap my mind around the fact that I ran 8 minute miles for over 7 miles and finished my first half marathon in just over 2 hours!  I have a hard time believing my body did that– and yet I was there doing it.  It’s a very surreal feeling even 3 days later.

Truthfully, I had no idea what kind of pace I would be capable of because all my training runs were with a weighted pack, on trails, and usually pretty hilly.  My fastest run on pavement had been 10 miles in 2 hours, but this was a whole 5 K more in almost the same time!

For anyone convincing yourself that you are not capable of running, I’d invite you to take a look back at my first post; and then come back to read this.  I am not an athlete.  I’m not a naturally gifted runner.  I am clumsy, awkward, and uncoordinated- but I ran 13.1 miles in 2:06!  If I can do it, I guarantee you that anyone can.

What I did– and do– have in my favor is that I am willing to work hard.  I will push myself as far as needed to reach a goal (and frequently probably a little farther than needed…)  It is such an AMAZING feeling when that hard work finally pays off!  I started training in the spring, and many months later I am seeing my dreams come to fruition.  It’s more than I expected.

What’s more, it’s not just the running.  It’s the work I’ve been putting into this blog, advocating for domestic violence, and creating a more fulfilling life for myself.  When I started this blog, I didn’t have a clear idea of where it would take me.  Now, I have a clear purpose for writing and running.  It’s not about  healing myself anymore- it’s about healing other women and victims of abuse.  As passionate as I am about running- and as much as I love it- I am MORE PASSIONATE about this cause.  That is why I am willing to put myself out there.  I have a potential  interview with a local newspaper this week to talk about the Running for the Color Purple Campaign, and with Susan Omilian’s help, there may be more publicity to follow.  Normally, I would shy away from drawing any kind of attention to myself, but it’s really not about me anymore.  My story is no different from any other women who has been through abuse.  If I am truly committed to raising awareness, funds, and fight the stigma associated with abuse, then I need to be willing to do whatever I can to make it happen.  I am a woman on a mission.  I believe one person can make a difference, and I am doing my best to do just that!

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