depression

“Happiness is not a matter of good fortune or worldly possessions. It’s a mental attitude. It comes from appreciating what we have, instead of being miserable about what we don’t have.

It’s so simple, yet so hard for the human mind to comprehend.”

-Bits and Pieces

Today I turn 29. It’s officially the last year of my twenties. While many people (especially women) dread turning another year older, I find myself approaching the big 3-0 with the opposite sentiment. Why? Because life just keeps getting better, and I can’t to see what this next year has in store for me.

Originally, I had anticipated celebrating by going out today; but instead find myself just enjoying the morning at home. I don’t need any flash or glam today. I don’t need anything. It is the most wonderful feeling of contentment- something I don’t think I ever knew how to be until recently (especially sitting still). lol I guess some things get easier with age. 😉

My Birthday card from my brother and his girlfriend. They know me so well.

I think a large part of how amazing today feels comes from how low things were a year ago (and the year before). I have had to rebuild my life from the ground up, and along the way I rebuilt myself. I am stronger, fitter, more self aware and self assured, and all around healthier. Life is good again. In fact, it’s better than ever. I’m better than ever. A year ago (even 6 months ago), I was still keeping people at arms length. Now, I can can finally let my guard down and allow people to see the real me.

Borrowed from my girl Kelly

I don’t worry about other people hurting me anymore because I am so much more confident and secure in who I am. I know I can take the best of what they can dish out. No person is strong enough to break me. I can handle life’s knocks. If I get knocked down, you can be sure I’ll get right back up. It’s going to take more than some harsh words or bumps in the road to break my stride at this point in my life. I have a solid foundation now. I have a tight support system, and an army of people who LOVE and ACCEPT me FOR ME.

I opened my heart to the world again, and got it completely filled in return. I am SO BLESSED to have as many wonderful people in my life as I do- and I truly appreciate each and every one! My phone has been ringing off the hook all morning with Facebook alerts and birthday well wishes. It’s overwhelming at times just how much love and support I have in my life now. I never thought I would have so many genuine friendships. The thought of spending time with a lot of people used to exhaust me (or incite anxiety), however, now I’m often impressed at just how easy it is to maintain a great number of relationships when they are healthy and genuine.

All of the hurt, anxiety, and misery I endured makes everything about life so much sweeter now. I wouldn’t wish what I went through on anyone, but I also wouldn’t change it. It made me who I am today. It brought me to where I am- and I like where I’m at. 29 is going to be a great year for me because I’m determined to live it up. I am going into my thirties with a bang!

Happiness comes from developing a healthy relationship with yourself. Like any relationship, it takes work. There will be ups and downs. There will be times when you will be fed up; but at the end of the day it’ll be worth it. I have made a commitment to be happy. No one can do it for me. I make a conscious effort at it everyday. Today, that effort will include my next Insanity workout and spending time with the people who matter most to me. 🙂