“Have i gone mad?
I’m afraid so, but let me tell you something, the best people usually are.”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
For the record, this may be the only thing I accomplish today (other than my leg workout with the trainer, vacuuming, and napping). It’s a far cry from my grandiose plans for the day: workout with the trainer, swim, bike, run, clean the house, fit in time with the husband and the family, and of course establish a plan for
Thriver World Domination world peace… Instead I came back from the gym at 9 am and curled back into bed. At noon I ate lunch and dragged myself to the couch. It was truly a sad display. For the umpteenth time in the past 3 weeks, I am too dizzy and nauseated to function… let alone change the world. Unlike the past few weeks, today I was too dizzy to even stand up straight- just sitting still the room spins. It pretty much sucks.
Which leads me to why I am going crazy…
For the past several weeks, I have been crampy, bloated, having random bouts of nausea and dizziness (primarily in the morning or if I wait too long to eat), extreme fatigue (ie. sleeping half the day), and heartburn … wtf is up with that? I’ve NEVER had heartburn in my life! Did I mention I am also 2 weeks late?
So I took a pregnancy test… twice… several days apart. They were both negative. That means either a) It’s too early for a cheap test to read positive or b) I am totally going crazy because I have been having pregnancy symptoms for a solid 3 weeks… It’s also possible that I have some other weird medical ailment like a brain tumor causing my symptoms, but that’s far less likely than the first two, right?
This morning at the gym, I was really making the trainer nervous because he could see how hard I was struggling to keep the room in focus. Yesterday after swim class I was so dizzy and lightheaded I thought I was going to pass out on my way out and was terrified to drive home. The nausea alone has become so bad that one of my coworkers wrote me a prescription for zofran yesterday. Today my mother showed up with sea bands and medication for vertigo.
Of course I still feel like crap. If I am not pregnant, then I think I am legitimately going crazy. I know I’m not over training because I have been taking rest days and if anything scaled back some. I also have been eating more and staying hydrated. I feel like if it was my body adjusting to being off birth control then this would have started months ago. So basically pregnant and crazy are the only two viable options left in my mind. My mother wants we to have a blood test drawn, but my new insurance sucks and I don’t want my PCP to think I’m a lunatic if it’s negative.
In the meantime, I am super frustrated about being incapacitated so frequently. I am not someone who gets sick frequently. I’m also not someone who can handle doing nothing or skipping workouts (I know, another shocking admission!). I am used to living life a million miles and hour and getting nine hundred tasks accomplished a day. This is so beyond unacceptable in my book. I have things to do people! This world isn’t going to just save itself!
Maybe with all my newfound time on the couch I can at least get started on that book…
PS. I got promoted a lane in swim class again… primarily due to the fact that we were crammed into 2 lanes instead of 3 or 4. On the bright side, I survived! Take that Mystery Illness!