Trash the dress

“Beautiful people don’t just happen.”

Alright Everyone!!!!

I need your help! I’d like to start by saying thank you for all the wonderful warmth and feedback you have left in your comments!!! I am sorry I haven’t had a chance to reply yet, but I can assure you that I read every one.

The favor I need to ask everyone has to do with my friend Kelly (from My Time Is Now). Most of you are probably pretty familiar with her name by now (and hopefully you have also checked out here awesome blog…conveniently also located in my blogroll). Kelly and I met through boot camp. We bonded pretty quickly and came to discover we had more in common than we ever could have imagined. She has been an amazing friend to me, and an inspiration to those of us who know and love her.

For almost as long as I have known her, Kelly has been going through the process of extricating herself from an abusive relationship- all while dealing with her mother having cancer and trying to be the best mom and healthiest version of herself possible. She has busted her tail at the gym and lost over half of herself, and through the process has become a whole new person. She has worked so hard to rebuild her self esteem and reclaim her identity, and she truly deserves every happiness in life.

In case you didn’t know, she is also the girl who ran the Color Me Rad as a “trash the dress” session. It took a significant amount of courage and strength on her part to put that dress on and run. Going through a divorce (or any break up) is hard enough, but to go through the mental and verbal abuse she’s been through and still be able to say “THIS IS ME” and pick up and carry on is just unbelievable to me. I WISH I had that kind of strength when I was in her position. This girl is SO MUCH more amazing than even she realizes.

This weekend I will be doing the Relay for Life with Kelly in honor of her mom and would really like to raise some money on her behalf. Anyone willing to donate it would be greatly appreciated.

However, the REAL reason I have requested everyone’s help is that Kelly has been dealing with a lot of unnecessary drama recently, including some surrounding the now infamous dress trashing (some people apparently have a burning need to stir up trouble… what ever happened to behaving like an adult and minding your own business?). I have tried to explain to Kelly that I went through some similar drama with my divorce. Some people are just inherently threatened by strong, motivated individuals, ESPECIALLY when those individuals seem happy in times when they should be falling apart. They feel the need to take it upon themselves to tear them down. Bullies ARE OPPORTUNISTS and can smell vulnerability a mile away. I know she is smart enough to realize that when people are cruel and vicious toward her it truly comes from their own misery; however, it doesn’t make it any less hurtful or exhausting. No one wants to deal with the ugly side of people, and no one should ever have to. I am sure that as soon as she is in a better place, those haters are going to scatter (and with any luck, hide under a rock), but right now she is still vulnerable and doesn’t have the energy to stand up and fight back that she would otherwise.

Kelly didn’t believe me when I told her how many people were inspired by her dress trashing at Color Me Rad. I think it’s hard for her to see what a gift she has for touching other people. What I am asking is for everyone who has a spare second to go over to her blog and show her some love.

“Happiness is like a butterfly.
The more you chase it, the more it eludes you.
But if you turn your attention to other things,
It comes and sits softly on your shoulder.”

– Henry David Thoreau

So what does one do when life seems to be caving in and everything goes wrong?

I can tell you what this girl does:

1) Count my blessings for all the things that are going right – even if it’s just an uneventful day at work (instead of getting murdered per usual- maybe it’s true that you don’t get more than you can handle…).

2) Turn to the people who build me up most.

3) GO RUN A 5K and GET COVERED IN COLOR!!! Duh!

Color Me Rad was an AWESOME event. I went with a bunch of friends from boot camp ,and- despite the fact that I felt bad Adam didn’t come and wasn’t completely myself– I still managed to have a pretty good time. It certainly didn’t hurt that it involved two of my favorite things: running and getting completely filthy. 🙂

It definitely was great to spend some time with the boot camp crew. I have been missing them terribly… possibly even more than the actual exercise. I didn’t bring up what happened between Adam and I with them -even though his absence was brought up a few times– because I didn’t want to dampen the mood at all. After all, the day actually belonged to Kelly who joined in at the last minute and decided to run in her wedding dress (size 16 restructured to fit her new size 4 frame) as a “trash the dress” session. It was the perfect act of closure- as phrased by our team: “Best divorce party ever”.

I was so proud of her to be able to put that gown on and trash it publicly. After all the ridicule she endured from her ex about exercising and getting healthy- it was the perfect act of defiance. She is in charge of her life now, and his attempts to control and manipulate her aren’t going to work anymore! She got numerous cheers from random runners as we explained why she was wearing it, and she deserved every one.

I think everyone in our group had an awesome time. We were definitely as colorful on the outside as we are on the inside by the time we finished. It was just a great chance for everyone to just cut loose and enjoy each other’s company. We came to have fun, and even the ridiculous traffic on the way there wasn’t going to get in our way (we found ways to entertain ourselves… a few cars full of boot campers- it wasn’t too tough lol)

After the race, a bunch us went out for some Mexican and margaritas (my first in a long time SO YUMMY!!!) …. and no, we did not clean up first. I’m not sure that the staff knew what to make of us. All the silliness- possibly induced by the combination of alcohol, dehydration, and our general childish behavior when we get together- was exactly what I needed. Sometimes you need to act like a 5 year old to cope with being an adult… 😉