bimbler’s bluff

I’m just here for the scenery…

”Running is a road to self-awareness and reliance …

you can push yourself to extremes

and learn the harsh reality of your physical and mental limitations

or coast quietly down a solitary path watching the earth spin beneath your feet.

But when you are through, exhilarated and exhausted,

at least for a moment everything seems right with the world…”

-Unknown

“I’m just here for the scenery” was the half joke I made at the start of the Chatfield Hollow State Park 50K yesterday morning. The truth is I WAS there for the scenery, but I was also there for a very important reason- raising money to support CT-ALIVE (The CT Alliance For Victims of Violence and Their Families). This was my forth year fundraising for victims of domestic violence, and I certainly wasn’t going to sell them short with anything less than an ultra distance. I picked Chatfield Hollow because one year wasn’t a long enough to wipe Bimbler’s Bluff from my memory. Plus, I thought it would be fun to race in a new venue.

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Nature walk to the start. That’s my kind of race!

I was surprised when I looked at the registration list and found only 15 runners had signed up for the 50K with most runners opting for the shorter distances. Of those 15, only three were women… Clearly the rest of the ultra community (and majority of the runners present) knew something I didn’t. Rather than get nervous over this revelation, I figured the low numbers were due to the close proximity with Bimbler’s. Besides, I was too busy enjoying the gorgeous scenery to worry about the brutality that awaited me!

Plus, I figured that if I could survive Bimbler’s, I could handle anything they threw at me. I just couldn’t imagine it being any worse. What a silly notion!

What I didn’t take into consideration was the stricter time cut offs. The total allotted time for the course was only 8 hours (an hour less than Traprock and 2 less than Bimbler’s). Like Bimbler’s, the course was extremely rocky with a good amount of technical single track trails. There were parts that literally involved scaling up and down rocks which definitely slowed me down. I am not the biggest fan of running on rocky terrain because I am clumsy to begin with; so overall the unstable footing was a detriment to my pace. That’s not to say that I didn’t still enjoy myself because I totally did!

The course was composed of five 10K loops. (Spoiler Alert: I got DQ’d after not meeting the time qualifier on my third lap; however the officials took pity and allowed me to still run a forth!) The thing that was really challenging about this specific ultra is the entire loop was up and down. Every other ultra I have run, all the really horrible climbs are either in the first third of the course OR at the beginning of the loop (For example, at Traprock of the 10 mile loop, only the first three miles were horrific and the rest were more manageable). This race had hills throughout the loop, including rock faces that had to be scaled at the end (well played race organizers, well played). In a word, it was BRUTAL… and this is coming from a girl who did Bimbler’s as her first 50K and finished a Half Ironman less than two months after gallbladder surgery.

All that being said, throughout the race I really felt good. I was going slow, but I wasn’t hurting or miserable. I felt better on my third lap than I did on my first or second, and that was in spite of having to repeat a mile and a half section that I accidentally missed on my second time through (in my defense, the course was marked going in two different directions and I choose the one with the flags to my left because that is what we were instructed to do… I definitely had a little internal struggle about making up the part I missed knowing I was already flirting dangerously with the cut off. However, I’m an all or nothing kind of girl. I didn’t want to get credit for finishing unless it was for the entire course).

At that point, I was a little tired of all the climbing and descending and the pounding on the rocks, but not to the degree I expected given the difficulty level. It definitely helped that there were some great views and really fun sections which were enough to keep my mind off any aches or pains. Not to mention, I was too busy trying to simultaneously watch my footing and for trail markers to pay attention to much else! On a side note, I have to be honest that the scenery alone makes this run worthwhile… rocky terrain, continuous climbs, and all.

If the Chatfield Hollow SP 50K is a race you are considering doing, my advice would be to expect very rocky terrain and make sure you are prepared for it. Also, all the race distances start together, so expect the first few miles to be crowded and slow unless you get to the head of the pack. Another consideration is to plan on bringing your own water/nutrition. They have an aid station at the start/finish with some food, but the other two aid stations are just water stops without volunteers. There’s not going to be anyone handing out your snacks or water, so that’s something to keep in mind (Think “self serve”).

On that same note, while there are some people at the start/finish area, there are not a lot of volunteers on the course. Be prepared to spend some quality time by yourself because you won’t find a lot of company or support out there (like at some other races with larger numbers). Personally, I like to think that the secret of ultra running to be really comfortable with yourself. Otherwise, it’s an awful lot of time to spend with someone you don’t like. Any demons or insecurities you have are going to be brought on on this course, so make sure you either deal with them ahead of time or have a strategy come race day.

Lastly, don’t get caught up with the time cut offs. I spent a good part of my first loop worrying about not being fast enough before I realized there was nothing I could do about it. I was doing my best, and it was either going to be go enough or it wasn’t. It turned out that it wasn’t; but, surprisingly, the world didn’t end. No one pointed a finger at me and told me I wasn’t good enough. In reality, getting pulled and not finishing did not even remotely detract from the experience.

I took on a course that was WAY out of my comfort zone, and I didn’t quit… even after I was technically disqualified. I am immensely grateful to the race organizers for allowing me to run that last loop and get in as many miles as I could. In addition to being a great opportunity for me to cry it out and work out my frustration (which lasted about 30 seconds until I reached the first climb up a set of stairs… what is it with ultras and stairs anyway?) it was also a terrific chance for me to savor the scenery and run for the pure joy of running.

Okay, so in reality they said it was for finishing the 20K

(I might have to write in a little x2…since I techincally did the it twice.)

In truth, when I did get pulled after my forth loop I felt great beyond just not being sore and feeling like I could take on another lap. Every problem I had stressed about during my hell week of tapering had completely dissipated. Sure, there may have been a little fraction of disappointment; but, for the most part, I was just happy and grateful and having had the opportunity to spend a whole day doing something I love.

At the end of the day, I’m not in this sport for the finish lines or medals (although I do appreciate the bling too… shiny things, what can I say?). I do it because I LOVE the trails and constantly challenging myself. This course was INDEED a challenge, and a glorious one at that.

As far as I’m concerned, any day spent on the trails in good company is a fantastic one in my book.

Would I do it all over? 100% YES! I have absolutely no regrets.

As much as I did this event because I LOVE trail running, this race wasn’t about me. It was about raising awareness and money for victims of domestic violence so that other women have the chance to THRIVE after abuse that I did. CT-ALIVE was there for me when I needed help, so I am happy to endure any kind of torture a race course can throw at me if it means raising funds for them to help someone else. In fact, I’ll even do it with a smile on my face.

Thank you Trails 2 Trails for a wonderful race experience and definitely living up to your “We Don’t Do Easy” advertising… although, for record, I think running 50K is hard enough without you trying to make it more challenging with 8 hour time cutoffs and such. 😉

I EAT MILES FOR BREAKFAST (TRAPROCK RECAP)

“Run often. Run long. But never outrun your joy of running.”
-Julie Isphording

“I eat miles for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.” That was my race mantra for the 7 hours and 30ish minutes it took me to complete the Traprock Ultra 50K yesterday. That is a full 1.5 hours faster than my last ultra finish at Bimbler’s Bluff by the way… just in case you were curious. 😉 While I would like to say the faster time was related to my veteran status as an ultra runner (with one whole 50K under my belt…), the truth is it is much more likely related to the fact that this run was shorter (um, yes they were both 50K but this one was actually 50K… as opposed to the 50K-ish course at Bimbler’s Bluff which was closer to 34 miles… if you didn’t get lost, which I did… repeatedly) and really well marked.

One thing it was not was EASIER. There were two ridiculously steep climbs within the first couple miles, including one right at the start. Since the course consisted of 3 loops, we had to do both 3 times!!! … And thats not even counting having to run the first one (which was by far the worst) in reverse 3 times as well! So the people who designed Traprock were sadists as well, but then what trail runners and trail race organizers aren’t? I mean honestly, when have you ever done a trail race that wasn’t filled with ridiculous hills? Or finished a race thinking “gosh that course was easier than I expected?”…. Never? Yeah, me either. Of course, the hills on this course were steep and technical even by trail running standards.

The good news is, after the quad-busting climbs in the few first miles, there was a nice descent (not so nice going in reverse) followed by a very friendly and supportive aid station and the Lollipop section of the course. This was the first out and back and it was super fun to cheer on all the runners who were already on their way back. I think this was my favorite section because it was dirt (minimal rocks!) and consisted of a gradual uphill which became a fast, easy down on the way back. From there it was another ~~aid station~~ cheer section and back up (literally up… sadists I tell you) into the woods on a lengthy stretch of up and down. This felt like the longest section of the course to me. I think partly because after picking up speed in the lollipop section, the steep parts of the hills made me feel like I was grinding to a stop.

After several fake outs (as in “nope, not leveling out yet”), there was yet another aid station at the top of the ridge. BTW I will say there were some spectacular views along the way, and a nice breeze at the top. The volunteers at this aid station were also AWESOME.

I just can’t say enough about how wonderful each station was! They cheered, they played music, they asked how I was feeling and what I needed. They even filled my hydration pack for me so I didn’t have to take it off. It was definite pick me up each time I saw them. This last aid station was roughly 3 miles from the finish and led to a (longer than I would have liked) paved section consisting of a gradual up and down. The thing I hated about this section (aside from my obvious dislike for running on pavement) was that there was not much shade, and I felt like the sun was roasting me. By the time it finished I was happy to get back on the trail, even if it meant repeating that merciless hill from the start. Thankfully, it was slightly less awful in reverse. Plus, it was a another loop part of the course so I got to cheer for all the runners coming out on there second loop.

Finishing the first loop meant running through the finish and then turning around and heading back up the way we came (yes, up the evil hill again). It was slightly cruel, but not as emotionally damaging as getting lost and backtracking through the entire Bimbler’s Bluff course. Unfortunately, during my second loop I started to feel sick. Anytime I tried to eat anything resembling solid food, it just didn’t agree with me. I had stomach cramps and a headache, and I was worried I might have to drop out. It was much warmer than it has been recently, so I was not acclimated to running in the heat. I tried to increase my fluid intake and see if that helped. Luckily I had added a protein mixture to my water and was able to keep down the cliff bloks I brought. It was frustrating because my legs and joints felt good. I decided just to slow down and not push myself. After all, it was a gorgeous day and beautiful course. I am a trail runner first and foremost. There is truly nothing that makes me feel happier or more at peace than being on the trails.

My main goal for this race was to finish. The time cut off was 9 hrs, which is just about what it took to run my last 50K. I figured I should be able to make that as long as I didn’t get lost. My secondary goal was to finish in 8 hrs. Given that I was running over 30 miles, I thought shaving a full hour off my previous time was a reasonable aim. When I finished my first loop in just over 2 hours (well behind most of the field btw… Ultra Runners are beasts! And possibly part mountain goat…) I knew I had the time to slow down, and give my body a chance to recover.

My plan worked, and by the start of loop 3 I was feeling great. I still did not push hard for fear of causing more GI distress; so instead I socialized with the runners nearby and walked the hills. YES! I walked. I walked any reasonable looking hill. I am no dummy. I ran almost the entire Bimbler’s Bluff 50K, and the only thing I accomplished by doing so was burning out my legs on the hills. This time I had nothing to prove, and I wasn’t about to mess with the heat. Guess what? I went faster! I figured it was better to walk and run than crawl… which is what I would have been doing had I not walked some of those inclines! It was so much more enjoyable too! Because my legs weren’t super fatigued, I was able to actually run the flats and downhills, which is so much more fun than poking along at injured pace.

My whole goal for loop 3 was really just to enjoy it, and honestly I did. Once I got through the hills on that first section I was so pumped to have “the worst” of it behind me. The aid station volunteers commented on what a big smile I was wearing as I came into view. I hollered back “The hard part is over! Just the fun stuff left now!” and I truly meant it. I sailed through the entire lollipop section as if my legs weren’t tired at all (ok, well my version of sailed). In fact, I felt strong right up until I ran out of cliff bloks. Then I, again, got into trouble with the cramping. This was unfortunate because I was heading into the sun-scorching paved section again. The last 5K was the longest 5K I have ever run in my life. Most likely because I was barely moving in spite of my best efforts. I had given everything I had and left it on the course. There was simply nothing left in me. That is until I had the finish within my sight. Then I came down that hill and hurled myself at it as fast as my legs would carry me!

Even being one of the last finishers, there were still plenty of people cheering at the finish. I was just happy that I had finished before they shut the course down!

I am no expert in Ultra running by any means, but I would definitely recommend this course to any one considering running one. Normally I am not a fan of any kind of repeats in a race. However, in this case, it was one of my favorite parts.

First, the fact that the course was a loop meant it was well marked with frequent aid stations (ie. cheer sections). It also meant by the second and third loop that I knew where I was going, which made it easier to watch my footing (and not face plant). Furthermore, it was helpful in terms running more efficiently due to knowing where to push hard and where to coast. Finally, it was a great way to interact with the other runners! Ultra running can be such a lonely sport when you sign up by yourself. It’s nice to see a friendly face every once in a while when you spend hours of your day running in the woods.

While I loved my experience at Bimbler’s Bluff, I cannot say I enjoyed the course as much as I did in this ultra. I had put so much pressure on myself last time to run well and finish. This time around I really wanted to just embrace the experience. That is exactly what I did. Sure plenty of (ok most) people may finished ahead of me, but I doubt any of them enjoyed the experience as much as I did. For me, trail running is pure bliss. Even when I’m tired and it hurts, I still love it. That being said, Traprock has earned a special place in my heart.

Bimbler’s Bluff Recap

“A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work.”
-Colin Powell

I am a firm believer that with persistence, anything is possible. That might have been what lead me to sign up for the Bimbler’s Bluff 50K in the first place. It seemed to be one of those things where the planets are in alignment and everything just falls into place… although I never could have anticipated upon signing up just how true that would be.

I needed a race to run as a fundraiser for CT-ALIVE this year, and having ~~done~~ attempted the Ultra Beast last year, it had to be something that would test my limits. Ever since the Ultra Beast, I had considered doing an ultra. I had already done a marathon, so it seemed like the next logical step. Plus, the Bimbler’s Bluff was a bargain at $50!

Since I was not super successful with my fundraising last year, this year I redoubled my efforts. I made an event page, sent emails, and continuously begged for money on Facebook. The fact that I had selected a race roughly 33 miles in length worked to my favor as I had people who offered to make donations in my memory just in case I didn’t survive. (Thanks for the vote of confidence guys) My goal was for this year $500, but I well exceeded it making for my most lucrative fundraising year yet! That only made me more pumped for the race.

The other exciting thing about my big run this year was that a friend of mine (Vanessa from The Purple Song Project) put me in touch with Lana Ives from Ives International Film. It turned out that Lana is working on a documentary involving stories of inspiring people. She had read my blog and thought I fit the bill. She asked if she could meet me at the race and interview me before the start. She also said I could have copies of the film and images for my own personal use (i.e. for my blog- so stay tuned!). Beyond the shock that someone would be inspired enough by my blog to want to involve me in a documentary, I realized that this was an AMAZING opportunity. If my mission with this blog is to inspire people to go out and live their dreams, especially after abuse, then there was no way I could not accept.

Upon arriving at the race, I found Lana and her assistant at the check in. I was beyond stoked to find not only that the race shirts were fluorescent orange, but that the race bibs were orange as well! I took this as a good sign because, as we all know, orange is my favorite color. Even better, the bib had my name on it- which meant the runners and volunteers would be cheering for me by name! Anyone who has run a race with your name on the bib knows exactly what I am talking about here. Plus, it made for better conversation on the course given we all had name tags.

As far as the actual race, I don’t even know where to start. Trail runners are such a special breed. When you sign up and arrive at a trail run, you sign up for more than a race. Rather, you have signed up to be a part of a community, and it’s clear from the moment you arrive. Bimbler’s Bluff was no exception. There was a palpable sense of good will. When the national anthem wouldn’t play, two runners stepped forward and sang it beautifully. However, they didn’t sing it alone because almost immediately the whole field joined in. It was a perfect way to start, and then we were off.

The early part of the course consisted of rolling hills, which are my favorite to run. I picked a comfortable pace and stuck with it the whole way. I only stopped to walk if a hill was particularly steep. I plugged along while everyone else passed me, and before long I was convinced there was no one left to go by. I didn’t particularly mind. After all, it was nice to see another person occasionally, and I figured most of them had far more experience with ultras than me anyhow.

The first real challenge of the race was that markers were not that easy to spot. The red and white tape blended with the foliage in some places and required a lot of attention not to miss them… which many people (myself included!) did… repeatedly. (Might I offer a humble suggestion of lime green or fluorescent pink next year?) This was good in the sense that it gave me something to concentrate on; however it made it difficult to watch my footing resulting in several good tumbles. I caught my toe on and tripped over more rocks than I could count! I was thrilled when I arrived at the first aid station and plowed through it on to the next one.

The second section of the course had areas that were so steep and treacherous that they were really more conducive to ~~hiking~~ climbing than running… unless you’re part mountain goat. I did my best to run whatever I could safely and was still feeling good when I hit aid station #2. I called out my number to the volunteers and headed up a near vertical ascent. I found Lana on the way up, and she asked how I was feeling. I told her I was still doing ok and scaled upwards. My reward was a magnificent view from the top! The rest of that section seemed to span on forever, and I was sincerely doubting my ability to finish before the cutoff… or finish at all… when I arrived at station #3. Lana, again, was there waiting for me and she even jogged down the street with me asking me questions as I crossed back onto the course. I asked the staff at the station how much longer to the next one (which I mistakingly thought was the last one) and they said another 6 miles. Elated by this news, I blasted past them and they called after me that they had cookies and didn’t I want something to eat.

The next section, again, seemed to stretch on forever. This was at least in part due to the fact that I hadn’t realized I was out of water until after I started it. My legs were no longer cooperating and the down hills were worse than up. At some point I ran a whole extra hill because I had missed a marker. I thought about taking the ibuprofen I brought with me, but I didn’t want to risk injuring myself by blocking out the pain. Then I rolled my ankle and landed on it. I was relieved to find at least that it wasn’t badly sprained, and I could still walk on it. I figured I should enjoy what was left of the race because it could be a good amount of time before I’d be running on it again. When I did finally arrive at the 4th aid station I found Adam. He had ridden his bike from home to greet me. I asked if would make it back in time to see me finish, and he said it would be no problem because I still had 11 miles to go. The volunteer confirmed this information by telling me I did a great job and was 22 miles in. I was crushed because I had thought that there were only 4 aid stations with 8 miles left after the last one. I truly thought that extra 3 miles was going to kill me. Then Adam filled my hydration pack more than I needed despite my protests.

In spite of the fact that the volunteers were wonderful and supportive, I left that aid station feeling totally defeated. My pack was the heavier now than it ha been when I started, and I had 3 extra miles to go on top of the eight mile section ahead of me. Judging by the amount of time it had taken me to complete the last section, I thought for sure that I would never make it past the next cutoff. It was definitely my lowest point in the race. The one thing that worked in my favor was that there were not a lot of uphills on that segment. In fact, it was primarily downhill; and I was able to push through 8 miles in 2 hours. I saw Lana shortly before the last aid station and called out to her “I’m smiling because if you’re here then I’m almost done!” I stopped briefly at that last aid station- just long enough to say thank you and grab some gummy bears. They were the most delicious I have ever tasted in my life! I headed into my last 3 miles on a high. It was only 4:30 PM, and I knew I could walk the rest of the way and still make it.

However, having run everything but the worst hills up to this point, I was determined to keep going. Besides, if I was running to inspire and raise money for victims of domestic violence, I was certainly not going to give them anything less than my best. Plus, I wanted nothing more than to be finished as soon as possible! So I kept running, despite the fact that my running resembled stumbling more than actual running. I was emotional on the last section because it was the first time I knew that I could do it: the finish was within my grasp. I thought of all the hard work and 6 long months of training I had put in to get to this point; and I thought of all the women I was doing this for. This was not a victory just for me, this was a victory for us. All those women who were told over and over that they couldn’t accomplish or handle anything, who had their self worth stripped from them the way I did- it was a victory for them.

When I did finally see the finish, I sprinted to it as fast as my legs would carry me. The people who were there erupted in cheers (not just for me, but for every runner). Lana was there at the finish, and I told her I couldn’t believe it was over. She asked if she could give me a hug and I was more than happy to accept it, though I did warn her that I was pretty sweaty. She asked asked me some additional questions, and then we waited or Adam to arrive (because he underestimated how quickly I would get through my last 11 miles!). When the race director offered me my glass (and it’s a pretty nifty glass too!) for finishing, I had actually forgotten we were supposed to get anything. To me, the reward was just in the experience. I spent the whole day doing something I absolutely love, in good company, with great volunteers, and raised money and awareness for domestic violence in the process. What more could a girl ask for?

Now that it’s all over, I’m still in disbelief that I did it. Even more than that, I can’t even begin to process how much love and support I have had for this race. I don’t think I could have pushed through the pain for as long as I did had I not had so many people rooting for me. Being someone as independent as I am, I am not used to asking for help… or for anything for that matter. However, when it came to my fundraising race this year, the response was more than I could have ever imagined. I am so blessed to have the people I do in my life, from my amazing husband who sacrificed his sleep yesterday to drive me to and from the race and cheer me on, to my awesome family and mom who left me cupcakes for when I got home, to my trainer who kicked my butt for 6 months and helped me become the strongest physically that I have ever been, to all my friends, coworkers, and fellow CT-ALIVE board members, and Arch Angels who offered words of encouragement and made donations. I dont’ know what I did to deserve to have so many wonderful people in my life, but I am truly grateful for each and every one of them!