“We should not give away a moment to anyone who does not deserve it.” 
― Deb Caletti, The Secret Life of Prince Charming

This post is dedicated to all the women in my life and everywhere who settle for less then they deserve.

You are kind

You are smart

You are important

And most of all

You are deserving of LOVE.

I have been both blessed and cursed in my life with the gift of compassion and empathy.  Reading other peoples feelings comes easily to me, and with that comes the ache of knowing when and how much some one else if suffering.

I am truly lucky to know MANY amazing, bright, wonderful, and caring women.  Women who would do anything for the people they love.  Women who are passionate about making the world a better place.  Women who are leaders in their field.  And yet, my heart aches for them.

Why?

Because many of the women I know settle for less than they deserve.  They pursue relationships with individuals who do not respect or appreciate them.  They waste their energy on people who only love them when it is convenient rather than unconditionally.  They believe the unworthy individuals who tell them they are undeserving of love.  They only see the flaws pointed out by others rather than the beauty they possess.

I want to cry for these women.  These are people I know and care about.  I want to shake them back into reality.  I want to tell them the truth.  I want to make them believe.

They deserve better.  They are kind.  They are smart.  They are important.  And most of all, they are deserving of love… and not just a love that is convenient: Love that is unconditional and unwavering.  Love that is as deep as what they offer in return.  They deserve to be cherished and adored because, despite what they have been brainwashed to believe, THEY ARE WORTHY.

And that is what got me thinking about why we as women settle.  Why do we settle for unhealthy and abusive relationships?  Why we put our needs behind everyone else’s?  Why do allow ourselves to be doormats?

I am not hear to answer the why, but rather to give all the women out there permission to stop.  Stop settling.  Stop apologizing.  Stop living small.  It’s a big world! Take up all the space you need!  Most of all, though, don’t settle.  Don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t appreciate you.  You are beautiful and lovable.  Anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar.  Anyone who follows I love you or a compliment with the word “but” or some kind of condition is also no good for you and a liar.

Take the time to love yourself first.  Find your happiness within, and the right people will come to you.  Don’t get caught up on the amount of time you’ve already wasted or the mistakes you’ve made in the past.  Today is a new day.  It’s a new year.  Start living for YOU.  Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks.  What people say about you behind your back is none of your business.  If someone has a problem with you, it’s their problem.  Let them stew over it.  If you’re busy living life to the fullest, what does it matter anyway?

I know what it’s like to have someone slowly steal away your happiness and shrink your world.  I also know what it’s like to waste years with the wrong person while trying to please everyone but myself.  I was a doormat.  I’m not anymore.  Now I know how it feels to be loved unconditionally, and it doesn’t EVER involve put downs and criticism.

Any relationship in your life that makes you feel badly about yourself (or question your sanity) is not a healthy one.  You deserve better than that.  In fact, you deserve all the best life has to offer.  The type of life you live is entirely up to you, so choose the one that makes you happy.  And don’t ever settle.

YOU DESERVE BETTER